A Beaten Piece Of Love
by VyxenSkye
Summary: AkuRoku, others. AU. Lost and abandoned with nowhere to turn but sex and drugs, Axel feels completely alone in the world. Concerned and intrigued, Roxas tries to help him, but is refused completely. Will Axel realize that Roxas wants only to help him?
1. Just About To Break

A Beaten Piece of Love

By: Hitokiri Musei and Fallen Truth

Rated: M

Summary: Lost and abandoned with nowhere to turn but sex and drugs, Axel feels completely alone in the world. Concerned and intrigued, Roxas tries to help him, but is refused completely. Will Axel realize that Roxas wants only to help him? And what will come of this new connection?

Warnings: Yaoi, obviously. AkuRoku, some RikuSora, some Zemyx. There is also character death in the end, but that's WAY away. Keep in mind, this was conceived and begun in the wee hours of the morning. (like, threeish) We tend to come up with odd ideas at those times, if you hadn't noticed. –cough-doubleedgedsword-cough-

Yes, Fallen Truth and I have come together once more! (We do that) And… not on the story that was wanted. OUR BAD! We just can't get that one going, so… here's this one instead! YAY!

Hope you likes it!

Disclaimer: Yea, only in our dreams. (Axel is fun to look at though!) We don't own Kingdom Hearts I/II in any way, nor do we own the songs that we use in the beginnings of the chapters. This particular one in "Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin.

* * *

_Desperate, I will crawl  
Waiting for so long  
No love, there is no love  
Die for anyone  
What have I become_

Something's getting in the way  
Something's just about to break  
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane

_**Diary of Jane – Breaking Benjamin**_

Chapter 1

Just About To Break

He dreamed.

Laying in the alleyway, wet, cold, shivering violently, he dreamed.

He curled tighter in on himself, wrapping his lanky arms tighter around his skinny body as he pressed his back against the brick wall behind him. The rain was still pouring down around him, soaking his spiky red hair, making it lie limply against his shoulders and cheeks. He pressed his face into his knees, hiding away the sleep closed eyes and the pale, thin face behind knobby knees.

The rain continued to fall down, and he dreamed.

He dreamed of happier times; of when his Mom still loved him and was still his best friend. He remembered their nights of hot chocolate and talking curled up under blankets on the couch, he remembered making candles with her, watching sunsets, cooking breakfast and laughing as the pancakes fell out of the pan when she tried to flip them.

He dreamed of her smile, of her laugh, of her shining bright acid green eyes, so much like his own. He remembered when she told him that she would always be there, no matter what. They were a team, the two of them, and they would always be together.

She lied.

* * *

_He tightened his hold on her warm hand, looking up with a large smile on his tiny face. "Come on Mom, we have to hurry!"_

_She smiled back down at him, her green eyes sparkling. "Alright, alright, we're going! Don't worry; we'll get there in time."_

_He tugged on her hand, running forward and dragging her behind him as they moved through the park towards their tree._

_It had always been their tree, ever since he was little. It was where she took him when they watched the sunsets together, and so it was his. Theirs. _

_"Slow down, my little fire, we don't need to go so fast!"_

_"Come on, go faster Mom, go faster!"_

_He released her hand as they reached the tree, his small chest heaving in and out as he stared at the slowly sinking sun in the sky. A smile was stretched across his face as he looked up into the dying light, then turning to look up into his mother's face._

_"Mom, hurry, we have to be ready for when the sun goes down!"_

_She laughed faintly, but spread the blanket out on the grass and folded her legs, settling down and making herself comfortable. He plopped down beside her, snuggling close to her side as he watched the sun sink with big eyes._

_This was something special to him. He and his mother always went out to the park to watch the sunset at least once a week; it was a tradition, something that could never be broken. _

_The boy smiled again, leaning away from his mom to rearrange himself on the blanket that was spread over the cool grass. _

_He watched the sun sink with sparkling eyes, and then spoke softly. "I love you, Mom."_

_There was no answer, no bright and cheery reply that he always got. _

_He turned, and she was gone. It was as though she had never been there at all. _

_"Mom? MOM!!"_

* * *

He awoke with a start, his eyes flying open in the rainy night as tears made their way down his cheeks, blending with the freezing rain still falling on him. His shivering grew more violent and he curled up tighter, trying to force himself to stop crying and stop shaking.

His body didn't listen to him, so he wouldn't listen to his body. He forced himself to his feet, pushing himself away from the wall and heading out towards the street, wobbling slightly as he got out of the alleyway.

The freezing rain pounded down on his skin, sending shivers through his body. He raised his arms almost mindlessly, wrapping them around his skinny shoulders, staring hopelessly into 

the darkness of the city around him. Everything was so unfamiliar, even after three years in this city that he had escaped to in his haste to leave the abuse and terror of his home.

As if he could call it a home.

He didn't know where he was heading; it wasn't like he ever did. He just wandered aimlessly, trying to keep himself awake. This was the first time he'd slept in a few days, and, just as he had feared, the dreams had come. Now desperate to keep himself awake, he stayed on his feet, letting them take him wherever they would.

A car passing on the street splashed water up onto the sidewalk that he was walking down, sending a wave of cold water up and over his shoes. He jumped to the side, his heart thundering for a moment before he forced himself to calm down, telling himself that it was nothing, just water.

He tripped over his own feet as he moved away from the road, stumbling into another body and falling to the ground as his knees crumpled beneath him.

"Hey, watch where you're going!"

His eyes were wide and terrified as he looked up the man towering above him, automatically shrinking backwards at the angry tone. "S-S-Sorry!"

The man scoffed, but started walking again. His heart still thudding frantically, the redhead scrambled to his feet, this time his eyes scanned the sidewalk in front of him, not wanting to bump into anyone else.

Contact scared him.

This thought reminded him that the morning was coming; soon these streets would be filled with people. He had to find a new place to stay for the day. A new alleyway, a new place to huddle until it was safe to leave. Safe to go out and try to find something to eat, try to find a new way to survive in this hell that he had thrown himself into.

He finally found an alley off the main street he was on, a dumpster against one of the walls. He found that the other side of it provided a little shielding from the freezing cold rain, although not enough to really keep him dry. Collapsing against the wall, he curled his lanky body into a ball, burying his face in his knees.

He would have to go out again tonight. Go out and look for her. The marks on his arms were starting to throb again, and his body was crying out. He needed to find her tonight, and he hated it.

The cold rain continued to pour down on him and his exhausted body finally succumbed to the cold and wet, sending his mind into darkness.

* * *

Roxas Strife walked through the cold rain, stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets as he went. He liked the rain normally, but this abnormally chilly rain wasn't quite as pleasant as he had hoped.

He wasn't tired, as usual. He worked nights as a stocker for a large grocery store near the apartment that he stayed in with his brothers. He walked there every time; it was just easier for all.

He ducked his head slightly as he moved through the still dark streets, his blue eyes scanning the sidewalk to make sure that he didn't trip over anything or knock into anyone. The 18 year old was not a social person by nature, and as such tended to avoid contact. It wouldn't do well to knock into someone.

As he walked past an alleyway his eyes automatically went to the darkness within, and something caught his eye.

A pale spot against all the dark. He frowned, slowing in his pace and then stopping, focusing on the tiny dot of color.

It was a hand. A hand covered in a black fingerless glove. He started to dismiss it as another homeless person (they were everywhere) but something held him back. Something was calling to him, and curiosity won out and he turned, walking into the dark alley.

He rounded the dumpster against the wall to see who was behind it, to see if the person was okay.

He was little surprised at what he saw.

Bright red hair was in tangled strands across the person's back, a back clothed in what looked like a far too large black hooded sweatshirt. Lying in a heap like that had to be uncomfortable; Roxas mused, and he slowly reached out, placing a hand against the person's shoulder.

He sucked in a surprised breath as he touched the shoulder. He could feel every single bone, even through skin and sweater. He paused, and then shook the thin body gently.

"Hey. Hey, are you alright?"

He received no response for his promptings, and now a little worried; he carefully rolled the lanky body over so he could see the face.

Lax and expressionless, the face before him was thin and clearly starved. Roxas' blue eyes ran over the high cheekbones and the pale skin that peeked out from the latticework of red hair that clung to the man's face. He didn't look old, at least, not that much older than Roxas himself. Roxas narrowed his eyes as he spotted the strange teardrop shaped tattoos that adorned his cheeks, absently wondering what they represented.

Trying again to get a response merited nothing, and he sighed, not knowing what else he could do. But even though he didn't know what to do with this strange person that he had found, some part of him didn't want to leave this poor person lying in the freezing rain. Already he could feel the chill seeping from the man's body, and he knew that no doubt he was going to get very sick.

He could possibly even die.

Roxas couldn't just leave him there.

He studied the face in front of him a little more closely, watching as the eyelids twitched, eyes moving beneath them. The man's breathing sped up slightly, and then he saw a flicker of green. Was he waking?

Roxas leaned away as the man's eyes fluttered open, not wanting to crowd him. Even with this precaution though, the reaction was still fierce and unexpected.

The man thrust his thin body backwards, colliding with the wall with a rather dull thump and pressing himself against the brick, almost as though he was trying to meld into the wall. Roxas backed up a few steps, raising his hands in a peaceable gesture. "Hey, easy, I'm not here to hurt you."

Those amazing acid green eyes stared into his own sapphire ones, looking deep. He had an insanely intense gaze, Roxas realized, as he watched those eyes flicker over his body. After a few moments of silence the man spoke softly.

"Who are you?"

Roxas put a disarming smile on his face. "My name is Roxas. I almost didn't see you back here; I should think it lucky that I did. You might end up dead if you stay out here in this rain."

The man was still watching him silently, and then chuckled faintly, his eyes turning away from him. "That might be the preferred route…"

That made Roxas blink, but he made no statement about it. He then sighed, reaching out a hand. "Come on; let's get you out of this rain. Besides, I think you're going to need some medical attention anyway, after being out in this cold. I'll take you there."

Acid green eyes flew back to his face, a bit of anger in them. "I don't need your pity."

Roxas studied those orbs silently, frowning. There was anger in those eyes, sure, but under that he saw much more. Fear. Loneliness. Hate.

What had happened to this man?

The teen sighed, pushing himself back into an upright position. "Fine, if you don't want my help, then I'm not going to force you." He reached into his back pocket, pulling out a few bills and reaching out, grabbing the man's hand.

The touch resulting in a rather violent shudder through the man's body, but Roxas paid it no mind as he pressed the money into the other's hand. "Here, something for you. Go buy something to eat; you're way too thin."

With that, the teen walked from the alley, waving a hand absently over his shoulder. He didn't expect that he would ever see this man again, but some part of him knew that he needed whatever help he could get. This probably wouldn't go far, but perhaps it would make a difference.

Little did he know, this man would come back to haunt him, even if he tried to get away.


	2. Don't Save Me

_Until you give  
Until you've used  
Until you've lost  
Until you lose  
Until you see, how could you believe?  
Until you've lived a thousand times  
Until you've seen the other side  
This is my chance, this is my chance_

Don't save me, don't save me, cuz I don't care  
Don't save me, don't save me, cuz  
I don't care

_**Savior – 30 Seconds To Mars**_

* * *

Chapter 2

Don't Save Me

It was late into the night when he managed to get to her place. It had taken him all day of moving through alleys and sneaking across streets, flinching and avoiding all contact. He looked up at the tall building, shivering slightly, his arms sneaking up to clutch at his shoulders. He didn't want to be here. He never did.

But no matter what, he could never stop coming.

He moved toward the mansion, bypassing the guards as they merely glanced at him. He knew that she had told them to ignore him whenever he came, and somehow that bothered him. He didn't even have to wait at the door anymore; they opened it for him and sent him in, most often telling him where she was in the large house.

This time was no different; he was directed straight to her, finding her in her room, a bathrobe wrapped around her body where she sat on the bed.

As soon as she saw him a grin crept onto her face, her green eyes sparking. "Well well, I knew it was just a matter of time before you came crawling back to me this time. I didn't give you much."

He tried his best to glare at her, but she didn't seem fazed at all. He stood in the doorway for a moment, his head lowered.

"I really don't think you deserve it this time."

His head shot up, wide green eyes meeting her cruel orbs as she stared at him from her place on the bed. She was doing this on purpose, he knew. She always wanted to rile him up, make him think that she wouldn't give it to him.

She liked to see him beg.

Even though he knew it was probably just a rouse, he panicked. "No! You can't keep it from me! I need it!"

Her sadistic grin widened. "Can't I? Don't you forget, I was the one who gave it to you when I found you the first time. As long as you need it, I _**own **_you."

He chewed on his lower lip, clenching his hands into fists. Just walk out of here, he told himself. Turn around and leave, never come back.

But his body wouldn't move. His legs wouldn't listen to his mind, and instead he walked over to her, going to his knees beside the bed. "_Please_ Larxene, I need it. I'll… I'll do whatever you want. Just give it to me."

He flinched as her hand patted the top of his head, as though he was some sort of pet. "That's a good boy."

With that she dragged him bodily up onto the bed, untying her bathrobe and straddling his skinny hips. He lay passively on the bed, letting her get her pleasure from his body, knowing that he would get what he wanted in the end.

This was nothing new after all, it had been happening ever since he had first been found by her. Except for the first time, which had been rape. That had been the first time that he had ever had a hit, ever felt release from the hell that his life had become.

And that was why he kept coming back. That release.

When she had finally had what she wanted and she climbed off of him, he lay there, watching her silently as she went to the cabinet at the other side of the room, withdrawing the bane of his existence. His heart quickened in anticipation as she moved back towards him, that sadistic smile never leaving her face.

"I look forward to next time."

He narrowed his eyes. "I'm not coming back."

She laughed cruelly. "That's what you said last time. You'll be back. You always come back, no matter how many times you tell me that you're not."

He hated the truth in her words, but nonetheless he tried to protest again. His voice was cut off as the needle entered his skin, injecting sweet relief into his veins. A wave of euphoria flew through his body, a slight gasp escaping his mouth as his body shuddered.

She frowned, and then dragged him to his feet. "I've got places to be! I don't have time to waste with you laying here. Get out of my house."

He dimly dressed, still shaking slightly, and then stumbled out of the house. By the time he'd gotten away from the mansion the pleasurable part had worn off, and the violence came on, the violence that Larxene was afraid of. He growled angrily, clenching his fists so tightly his nails cut through the gloves and into his palms, drawing blood.

"Damnit! I said I would never go back! What the hell am I doing?.!" His fist collided with the wall a moment later, letting out his aggression on the brick. An angry roar worked its way from his throat as he continued to beat his fists against the wall, blood flowing from his knuckles as they split again.

He threw his body forward, colliding with the wall with a sharp yell of anger. "Why can't I fucking stop myself?.! Why can't someone help me?.!"

The urge to hurt himself was intense, and with shaking hands he dug in his back pocket for the pocket knife he knew was there. He flipped it open, pressing the cold metal against his skin where the needle had entered him. He still felt the needle there, and he hacked at the site, trying frantically to cut the poisonous needle from his body.

The pain was nothing to him, even as he tried to carve out a piece of his flesh. As usual, it wasn't working, and he snapped the bloody knife shut, running through the streets, trying to run from his mind, as though that were possible.

He ran through the streets, not caring who he ran into, what he ran into, or where he was going. It wasn't until he ran headlong into a person, knocking them to the ground as well as losing his own footing that he finally managed to look and actually see what was happening around him.

The person in front of him rubbed at his head, and then opened his startling blue eyes to look at him. "Ow, geez, watch where your… hey! You're that guy!"

He knew this boy. Where did he know him from?

Oh yea. He had given him money. He wasn't sure where that money was now. He couldn't remember what he'd done with it. Every fiber of his being screamed that he should get away, and he pushed himself to his feet, trying to start running again.

But even as he tried, his body rebelled, sending him to a heap on the concrete only seconds after he gained his footing. The boy moved forward, stretching out a hand to him. "Hey, are you okay?"

He tried to shake the boy off. "Get away from me, kid!"

"I just want to help you!"

"Don't save me! Leave me alone! You can't save me!"

The boy kept a hold on his wrist. "Come on, let me help you!"

Everything was spinning now. He couldn't focus on anything; really, even the blond in front of him was a giant blur in his vision.

"Hey, you're bleeding!"

He snorted faintly, a weak grin on his face. "Thanks, Captain Obvious."

Reality fled.

* * *

Roxas sighed, wiping at his forehead with the back of his hand as he leaned back from the bed in front of him. The man was still breathing harshly, and he was still shivering, even though they had been in the heated house for nearly an hour and he was covered with multiple blankets.

After he'd passed out, Roxas had hauled him up into his apartment building. Some part of him just couldn't leave him there; he looked like he was about ready to die. And so he had dragged the tall, skinny body into the building, bandaging and caring for him.

What he found was astounding. The man's arms were covered in a multitude of scars, cuts, scratches, and what looked like puncture wounds. Roxas hadn't removed the man's shirt, not wanting to pry into his privacy too much; only wanting to care for what looked really bad. He had found that the gloves were soaked in blood, and had peeled them off to see ripped and broken knuckles and bleeding palms. Currently the gloves were lying in the sink immersed in cold water, an attempt to get some of the blood out of the fabric.

As he finished bandaging him, he could only wonder at what had happened to this mysterious man.

At that moment the door opened and Roxas heard the cheerful voice of his older brother echo through the apartment. "Hey Rox, we're home!"

He turned to meet the bright identical blue eyes of his two brothers, making a shushing sound. "You'll wake him up!"

Their older brother Cloud, always the protective one, was instantly on alert. "Roxas, who is this man?"

Roxas shrugged. "Not a clue."

Cloud blinked. "What?"

"I don't know. I saw him on the street the other day, half frozen and passed out in an alley on my way home from work. I gave him some money so he could get some help, cause he wouldn't let me take him to the hospital. I ran into him just a bit ago, and he was bleeding. I couldn't just leave him out there."

Sora sighed, rolling his eyes. "Damnit, Roxas, I'm supposed to be the charitable one. When'd you get on this kick?"  
The younger shrugged faintly, looking back to the pale, thin redhead lying in front of him. "I don't know. I just… couldn't leave him out there. I don't know why."

"Bleeding, huh? What kind of wounds?" Cloud asked, his doctor self kicking in at that moment. Roxas grinned internally; he knew that there would be no way Cloud could not help an injured person. That was the reason he was a doctor after all.

"Well, his knuckles are all swollen and cut up, like he was either in a fight or just punching at a wall. There's a place on his arm where it looks like he… tried to carve out his skin. I don't know why, though." Roxas said quietly, his eyes moving back to the man in front of him.

"Do you even know this man's name, Roxas?" Sora asked, his hands on his hips as he watched his younger brother.

Roxas shook his head. "He never told me."

Cloud sighed, running a hand through his bright blond bangs. "Well, since he's here, we might as well help him. Shove over; I need to take a look."

Roxas moved over so his brother could get closer, his blue eyes watching as Cloud carefully lifted a limp arm, his eyes scanning the man's pale skin. His eyes narrowed a moment later. "You picked a real good one, Rox, this guy's a meth addict."

"Nice call." Sora murmured, his own eyes traveling to the man's face.

Roxas frowned. "How do you know?"

"These marks." Cloud said, pointing at them. "Injection sites, as well as scratches and pockmarks. They're common in most cases of meth. It doesn't look like he's been on it for an extremely long time, though. There's no dermatitis around his mouth, and his teeth aren't all nasty."

The teen's frown deepened at this. "Great…"

Cloud sat back, turning his eyes to his brother. "This isn't a good idea, Roxas. You can't help this guy, not if he's a meth addict. We'll keep him here until he wakes, but then you need to get him out of the house. Okay?"

Roxas frowned, looking back down at the man lying in the bed before him. He could see the man's eyes darting around beneath his lids; he was obviously dreaming. He could see the slight tremors and shakes running through his body.

_What could have happened to him?_

* * *

_We don't own "Savior" by 30 Seconds to Mars. Hope you enjoyed this next chapter! Questions accepted and encouraged!_


	3. Welcome To My Life

_Yea, so we did take a little longer to get this chapter out, but here it is finally! I hope you forgive me for that, but I had to get moved up to college, so i finally got my internet hooked up to be able to post this. As for future chapters, we have the story almost complete, but we didn't manage to get it done before we both parted ways for school. Hopefully we'll be able to finish it over Xmas break, so I'll post a chapter every little while until then. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

__  
To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around_

No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me

_To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life_

_**Welcome to My Life – Simple Plan**_

* * *

Chapter 3

Welcome to My Life

Roxas could do nothing more than watch him. Even after nearly three hours, still the man shivered beneath the blankets they had placed on him. The teen felt a little helpless, unable to do anything other than watch.

He chewed on his lower lip silently, glancing at the clock. His brothers had left not long ago, leaving him alone for the day as they went to their jobs. He would be alone until late tonight.

His thoughts were disturbed as a soft groan came from the body in front of him. His eyes flashed to the man's thin face, his heart speeding up slightly in anticipation.

It was quiet for maybe a split second after the man's acid green eyes fluttered open, and then he was sitting up, pressing himself away from Roxas and against the back of the couch that he was lying on. Roxas held up his hands, trying to calm him.

"Hey, easy, you're safe."

The man looked around, and then narrowed his eyes in Roxas' direction. "Who the hell are you and where the hell am I?"

Roxas frowned. "No need to be so rude. I saved your life; you would have bled to death out there! I've done all this stuff for you and I don't even know who you are! The least you could do is tell me your name!"

Silence. Roxas folded his arms stubbornly, blue eyes staring into the other's green ones.

The redhead was the first to break their gazes, looking to the side. "Axel. Got it memorized?"

"There, I finally got something in return." Roxas said, his voice a little exasperated.

At that statement he got a piercing stare. "Why should I even owe you anything? Why are you helping me anyway? What do you think you are, some kind of hero?"

Roxas frowned, glaring at the redhead. "Hey, I was just trying to help you out cause you looked like you could use it! If you don't want my help, then get the hell out of my house!"

Axel pushed himself to his feet, swaying for an instant and then going rigid. "Fine!"

With that he stormed in the direction of the door, slamming it behind him.

Roxas growled softly to himself. "Asshole. All that effort on my part and I got nothing for it. Guess Cloud was right."

* * *

Axel made it two blocks before he realized his hands were freezing. He looked down in shock, swearing when he noticed that his hands were bare, something that hadn't happened in years.

"That little prick took my gloves! Now I gotta go back, damnit!"

Grumbling to himself, the redhead spun around and headed back towards the apartment building. He was still a little confused as to why the small blond had even wanted to help him in the first place; he was a nobody, after all, no one should worry about him.

He sighed, running a hand through his fire-red hair as he went into the building and back down the hallway that led him to the boy's apartment. He knocked on the door, rolling his eyes as he heard the boy call out 'Coming!'

As it opened he smirked to himself as the boy blinked in shock at the sight of Axel standing there, his hand held out. "Well?"

Roxas frowned slightly. "Well, what? You're the one that went storming out."

Axel made a 'come here' gesture with his hand. "My _gloves. _I need them."

The blond blinked, and then grinned, crossing his arms. "Not until you get in here and eat something."

"Okay, Hero-boy, I could totally squash you if I just lifted my left toe. _Give me my __**gloves**_**.**"

"Hey! Don't make a stab at my height, bastard! Just cause you're freakishly tall… And you're not getting those gloves until you eat something!"

Axel scowled. "I just want my gloves, kid. I don't need your pity."

Roxas set his chin stubbornly, his legs locking. Axel sighed, and then rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. As long as I get the gloves."

A brilliant smile spread across the boy's face at that, and he stepped aside. "Come on in! I was just making some pancakes, do you like those?"

The redhead snorted. "I like anything, as long as it's food."

That huge smile still on his face, Roxas led the way to the kitchen. "Good! That way I can make you eat a lot of them!"

Axel plopped down at the table, crossing his arms stubbornly as he watched Roxas titter around in the kitchen, loading up a plate with pancakes and bringing them to the table. Deciding that he might as well eat while he had the chance, Axel dug in the moment the plate was in front of him, not really caring that Roxas wasn't eating.

There were a few moments of quiet, and then Roxas spoke softly. "So what happened to you?"

"Why should you care?" Axel said through a mouthful of pancake, glaring up at him with glimmering green eyes.

Roxas shrugged. "I really shouldn't, I suppose. But I do. Are you gonna tell me?"

"No."

The teen raised an eyebrow. "Why not? What do you have to lose by telling me?"

Axel blinked. "Nothing, I suppose, but why should I tell you? What's it got to do with anything? Besides, I'm never going to see you again after I leave."

"You don't know that."

The redhead rolled his eyes, tearing off a piece of pancake with his teeth. "I'm still not gonna tell you."

"What if I just genuinely want to know?" Roxas asked, his blue eyes serious. "Would it be so bad to actually have someone care about what's happened to you? Would it be so bad to have someone who wants to know what to do to help you?"

Axel paused, looking down at his plate for a long, silent moment. "Well, no, I guess not."

"Well then?"

More silence, and then Axel sighed. "It's a really long story, and it's not pleasant either."

Roxas shrugged. "I have a lot of time. Besides, I really want to know, and I assumed that it was going to be bad. And you need some time out of this bad weather, it's freezing out there and you're going to catch your death."

"Fine." Axel said flippantly. "Whatever."

Roxas waited patiently as Axel finished the pancakes, and then tilted his head. "Do you want more?"

The redhead shook his head. "No, but do you have anywhere more comfortable to sit, since we're gonna be here a while? This chair fucking hurts."

That made the younger roll his eyes, but he nodded, standing and leading the way into the living room. Axel chose a couch and flopped down, stretching his long body across the cushions. Roxas folded his legs beneath him in a nearby chair, those intense blue eyes still focused on the redhead.

Axel was silent, and then snorted faintly. "Hell, I don't even know where to start."

Roxas laughed faintly. "Try the beginning."

"What part of the beginning? Hell…"

That made the teen raise an eyebrow. "How about telling me about your parents?"

Axel snorted. "Try 'parent.' My dad died when I was three. End of that story." He grinned. "That was easier than I thought it'd be."

Roxas glared at him. "Then tell me about your mom."

"My mom…" Axel's face softened. "When you could call her that… She used to be my best friend. She was awesome. But then _he _came." The redhead's hands clenched. "I still want to kill the bastard. He ruined everything. When she met him, things went to shit." His fierce green eyes met Roxas'. "I never liked him. He seemed nice when he first got to us, but then he started drinking heavily and using drugs, and things just got worse."

"She started dating him when I was six. He was 'the love of her life' she said, and she told me to just accept him. He got her into drinking and drugs, and then he started getting violent. He would beat her, and if she wasn't around, sometimes he would turn on me. She always told me that he didn't mean it, and that he wouldn't do it again. After the fifth or sixth time I stopped believing her."

He snorted. "It's a wonder I didn't figure it out sooner. She almost always had bruises and cuts on her after that. I even had teachers at school ask me if I was okay one day because I came in with a black eye. I stood up for her once, but she told me not to worry about it, that I was just going to get in the way. She was the one in the way of herself getting out of that situation. She kept saying that she loved him."

Roxas' face was sad as he watched Axel's eyes grow cold, his hands rolling into fists.

"I guess she just didn't care that I was just a kid, that I had to watch her get beaten, that I had to listen to her as she cried. That was about the time that I realized that she didn't care about me anymore, that I was nothing to her."

He scoffed. "Even so, I stayed. I kept trying to protect her, even though she told me to stay out of it. It got to the point that it didn't matter if I got involved or not, he would drag me into it half the time. By the time I was 14 I was sick of it, and when she told me to get out of it, I got out of it. I left."

"I had nothing when I left, no money, no clothes, just what I was wearing. I never went back either. I don't care what happens to me or how bad it gets; I'll never go back there. I don't want to deal with that ever again."

Roxas looked away from the redhead. "I'm so–"

"I don't want your pity." Axel said sharply, cutting off the blond in mid-word. "I told you, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, got it memorized yet? You're the one that wanted to hear my life story. And I did say that it wasn't going to be pretty."

Roxas sighed, nodding. "Alright." He was quiet for a moment, and then… "Where did you go?"

"Wherever I could. I sort of just wandered for a while, and I ended up here, in this city. I was 15 when I got here, didn't know anybody, didn't have anywhere to go. I just sort of slept where I could, living in the alleys. I stole when I could, but half the time I was eating out of dumpsters." Axel shrugged. "Add four or five years and that's about where you come in."

The teen raised an eyebrow. "That's all there is to it?"

"That's all that I want you to know."

Roxas frowned, folding his arms and glaring stubbornly at Axel. "You're not going to tell me anything about this meth addiction?"

Axel leapt to his feet, his teeth bared in anger. "That's none of your fucking business, kid. I told you some of my story, be fucking happy with it, cause I'm not going to tell you any more." He suddenly paused. "Wait, how did you know about that?"

Roxas grinned triumphantly from his spot on the couch. "My brother's a doctor; he recognized the marks on your arms."

The redhead subconsciously rubbed his arms, his acid green eyes narrowing in Roxas' direction. "No one asked you to get involved."

"No, but I wanted to. Can you just get past the fact that I want to help you and accept it, already?" Roxas asked, his eyes a little sad.

"I don't want your pity. Or your help."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Yea, so you've told me. Look, it's not like I'm gonna ask for anything in return. I just want to help you out because I can. I'm in a position to, and I honestly want to help. Is that so hard to believe?"

Axel sighed. "Kinda."

"Alright, alright. I won't make you stay or anything. But just so you know, there's always a room open here if you need a place to stay. It's getting colder out there, and I know that you'll freeze if you stay out there. Just… come to me if you need help, okay? I'll do whatever I can." Roxas said softly.

Silence. Then Axel sighed softly, turning his back to Roxas and going to the doorway. Neither said anything as the redhead opened the door, but Axel paused just before shutting it. "Thanks kid."

As the door clicked shut Roxas grinned. He'd gotten through.

Sorta.

* * *

We don't own "Welcome To My Life" by Simple Plan.


	4. Make Me Whole

_A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
I tried so hard  
Thought I could do this on my own  
I've lost so much along the way_

_Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole_

_I've come undone  
But you make sense of who I am  
Like puzzle pieces in your eye_

_**Pieces - RED**_

Chapter 4

Make Me Whole

Roxas was pulled from sleep by the sound of pounding on wood somewhere in the apartment. He groggily rolled over, looking at the clock on the bedside table, rubbing at his eyes. It wasn't late in the day; Cloud and Sora hadn't been gone much longer than 2 hours.

_Who the hell's at the door?_

He pushed himself to his feet, moving through the apartment and unlocking the door, pulling it open. He blinked in shock as he was met with sheepish looking green eyes and a lowered red head.

"Axel?"

"No, it's the Boogeyman." Axel said dryly. "You did say I could come back, right Hero?"

Roxas nodded dumbly. "Yea, I did."

Axel smirked, folding his arms. "Well? Can I come in, or you gonna make me stand out here all day staring at your skinny ass?"

That brought a blush to Roxas' cheeks, as he was standing in only a pair of boxers and a thin white wife beater. "Uh, yea, come on in."

He quickly went to change as Axel made himself comfortable in the living room. He went back out to see the tall redhead spread eagle on the couch. "So, what's brought you back here?"

"I'm hungry."

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "You think you can just show up every time you're hungry?"

The redhead rolled his head towards Roxas, his acid green eyes full of contempt. "Well, I was considering staying a few days. At least till I get back on my feet, you know. But if you don't want me here…"

"No! No, that's not what I meant." Roxas rolled his eyes. "Fine, what do you want to eat?"

Axel considered for a long moment. "What do you have?"

Roxas smacked his forehead, and then went towards the kitchen. "Just sit there, I'll make you something."

"Sweet."

* * *

Cloud Strife expected a normal sight when he walked into his apartment after work that day. He expected to see an empty room, as Roxas was usually still sleeping at this time. He certainly didn't expect what he actually saw.

The redheaded man from about a week ago was sitting slumped on his couch, idly flipping through channels on the TV, a look of utter boredom on his face. Beside him was Roxas, cheerfully snoring away slumped against the redhead's shoulder.

Cloud stopped dead in his tracks in the doorway, not even noticing when Sora ran headlong into his back, grumbling faintly as he glanced around his brother, who could only stare open-mouthed at the sight in front of him.

Sora raised an eyebrow. "Well then, this is new. Since when did Roxas get a boyfriend?"

"Since when does Roxas sleep on strangers?" Cloud muttered, folding his arms and fixing an electric blue glare on Axel, who merely stared back at him.

The redhead waved with the hand that wasn't being leaned against. "Hey. What's up?"

Cloud glared a little harder. "Why in the hell are you in my house?"

"Hero told me I could come in." Axel said, pointing at the snoozing teen on his shoulder.

Sora raised the other eyebrow. "Hero?"

Axel shrugged, dislodging Roxas' head, which fell into his lap after sliding down his chest. The redhead looked down with a faintly interested look on his face. "Well that's interesting. He sure sleeps hard, doesn't he?"

Cloud growled faintly. "Wake him up, Sora."

"Aww, do I have to? He looks so cute!"

"Sora!"

The brunette grumbled, walking into the room. "Fine, fine." He walked over to the couch and squatted in front of his brother, putting his face close to Roxas'. He stared at him silently for a moment, and then opened his mouth.

"ROXAS!"

Roxas' eyes snapped open and he let out a cry, leaping backwards into Axel's stomach. With an 'oof' sound the redhead automatically clutched his hands to his abdomen, catching Roxas on the face with both hands. The blond squealed faintly, his hands clapping over top of Axel's.

They sat in silence for a moment and then Sora rocked back on his heels, laughing hysterically. "That was freaking priceless! That was the greatest reaction I've ever gotten out of you!"

Cloud was still glaring in the doorway. As neither Axel nor Roxas moved he cleared his throat rather loudly.

Roxas swallowed thickly. "Um, Axel, can you let go now?"

"Huh? Oh! Sorry…"

The blond sat up, running a hand through his bangs and glancing at Axel, red staining his cheeks. "So, how did that one happen?"

Axel shrugged. "You passed out at some point on my shoulder. Slipped down to my lap. Cue crazy brother to wake you up."

"Hey, who you calling crazy?.!"

Cloud stalked into the room, wrapping a hand around Roxas' upper arm and dragging him towards the kitchen. "Can I talk with you Roxas?"

"Cloud! Why the hell you dragging me?.!"

About two feet into the kitchen Cloud turned to Roxas, his blue eyes flaming with anger. "What the hell is he doing in my house again?.!"

Roxas held up his hands in a peaceable gesture. "Hey, I just offered him a place to stay! And he was hungry, so I let him come in and made him some food!"

"You offered him a place to stay in _my _house?" Cloud asked incredulously. "A meth addict, Roxas?"

Roxas folded his arms. "I pay part of the rent too. Besides, he's not that bad. He's actually pretty nice."

Cloud glared at him. "He's still a meth addict, Roxas. What if he gets that stuff in my house? Around you? Do you have any idea how bad that stuff is?"

"Of course I do, I'm not stupid!" Roxas said angrily, glaring back at his older brother. "Look, just give him a chance! You said that you would stand by me in whatever I wanted to do, and this is something that I want to do!"

Cloud paused, watching his brother. "That was below the belt, Roxas."

The younger teen glared at him. "Well it's true. I'm not going to let you just kick him out without a fight."

Cloud sighed, running a hand through his blond bangs. "Fine. One month. That's it. That's all he gets to prove that he's trying to fix things. If he doesn't, then he's out of here, and I don't want you to associate with him again."

Roxas grinned. "I can handle that."

As the teen started to leave the kitchen Cloud stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Look Roxas, I'm just concerned for you. Don't get attached, this can only end in hurt for you. I don't want to see you in pain, that's all there is to it. If he just leaves you have to be prepared for it, you understand?"

Roxas nodded. "I got it, Cloud."

"Okay, as long as you understand…"

* * *

In the living room Sora had settled on the couch, and both the redhead and brunette were idly watching the door to the kitchen, where they could hear the yelling behind the door.

Sora grinned. "Hey, I think they're talking about you."

Axel snorted. "No shit. Thank you Captain Obvious."

Things were quiet for a moment. "Hey, what's your name?"

"Axel. Got it memorized?"

Sora raised an eyebrow at that. "Yea, whatever. Look, since Roxas is getting the talk from Cloud, I guess it's my job to give you the talk. Roxas is my brother, man; he's like… everything to me. You hurt him; Cloud and I hunt you down and string you up by your balls. Got it memorized?"

Axel raised an eyebrow in return at the mockery. "Yea. Clear as mud."

"I'm not kidding."

"Neither am I. I got it. Be careful with Hero-boy."

Sora blinked at that. "Why do you call him Hero?"

Axel smiled at that, looking towards the window on the far end of the room. "Cause he thinks he's my hero."

_But he might really be my hero in the end…_

* * *

_We don't own "Pieces" by RED._


	5. Staring Down The Barrel

_Everyone's pointing their fingers  
Always condemning me  
And nobody knows what I believe  
I believe_

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45_

_**45 – Shinedown**_

* * *

Chapter 5

Staring Down The Barrel

Axel lay on the bed in the dark room, his arms folded behind his head and his acid green eyes staring up at the ceiling. It would be pointless to say that this was little awkward for him.

He had been living with Roxas and his brothers for about 3 days now, and while Cloud was still rather hostile to him, Sora had accepted him right into the family. He was an interesting character, always cheerful and optimistic.

Roxas, however, had been a constant source of entertainment for Axel. He tended to sleep during the day because of his night job, but he didn't sleep all day. Generally he was awake by one, and then he would spend the rest of the day with Axel until Cloud and Sora came home from work.

Axel tended to sleep when Roxas did, but a little longer. He would go to bed when Roxas left for work, and then get up a few hours before the blond did. Those hours were usually spent watching TV, but lately (that being the last two days) Axel snuck into Roxas' bedroom and watched him sleep.

This particular morning was no different. It was about noon now, and Axel was sitting in the chair in the corner of Roxas' room, silently watching the blond as he slept curled in the center of his mattress.

_He looks so innocent… I just can't imagine why he would want to help me. I'm nothing like him… Hell, he doesn't even know me. He thinks he does, but he doesn't… What am I doing here? Why am I screwing up his perfect little world just for myself? God, I'm so selfish… _

The redhead pushed himself to his feet, sneaking closer and kneeling beside the bed. He folded his arms, resting his chin against his wrists and watching Roxas breathe gently, his face smooth and relaxed. His blond hair wisped across his forehead gently, and Axel had to resist reaching out to touch.

_He's so beautiful… Nothing like me… He's gorgeous inside and out. _

Sighing, Axel pushed himself up, leaving the room and heading to the bathroom. He splashed his face with cold water to gather up his thoughts, and then raised his eyes to the mirror.

It was as though he was seeing himself for the first time.

_What have I become?_

His face was thin and gaunt, sunken in cheeks and eyes. His eyes were bright in his pale face, giving him a haunted look that was accented by the shadows under his eyes. His cheekbones stood out rather sharply in his face, making him look all angles. His hair was a little stringy, dull and greasy.

_I look half-dead. I can't go to her any more. I can't stay here anymore. I'm just ruining his life by staying here…_

His mind set, Axel made his way out into the living room, intent on leaving the apartment behind. However, he ran into Cloud on the way out, who was coming home early with an obvious purpose.

As soon as the tall blond saw Axel his blue eyes narrowed, his arms crossing over his chest. "Axel."

The redhead met his glare with a rather empty stare. "Yea?"

"It's about time I had a talk with you." Cloud said, his voice dark as he kept his eyes locked with Axel's. "I don't know why you're still here, but you're not helping anyone. All you're doing is giving Roxas trouble, and perhaps a sort of false hope. Roxas thinks that he can help you, and I truly think that you're going to let him down."

Axel said nothing, only watched the oldest Strife brother silently.

"I want you out of my house." Cloud bit out. "You aren't welcome here anymore, especially if you're only going to hurt my baby brother. I won't let you do that to him, not while I'm around."

"Baby? You really think he's still a baby?" Axel snorted out. "He's got more heart and courage than both you and Sora. At least he's still got some faith, even if it's in someone as worthless as me."

With that the redhead left. He simply brushed past Cloud, who was staring a little shocked at where Axel had been standing, leaving the apartment behind.

A moment after the door shut Roxas came out from the hallway, his face contorted in anger. "Where did he go?"

Cloud turned his eyes to his brother, and then shrugged. "As if I care. I'm just glad he's out of here so he can't hurt you anymore."

Roxas bristled, his fists tightening. "Axel's right, Cloud, I'm not a baby anymore. I don't need you to protect me anymore! You said I had a month! It's been three days! How dare you go back on your promise! Are you going to go back on your other promise now? What about your promise to stay with us? Are you going to be just like Dad and walk out of our lives like he did after Mom died? Are you going to leave us too?"

Cloud whirled, his eyes fiery. "Don't you dare talk to me like that, Roxas! You know I would never do that!"

"Do I really?" Roxas said icily.

He left Cloud to stare at an empty room, his body tense and his eyes a little lost.

_Damn my pride…_

* * *

_I can't do this anymore…_

Axel stared dully at the cloudy sky, his green eyes blank. His body was slouched in an alleyway near Roxas' apartment building, his mind, however, was still staring at the blond's sleeping face.

_I can't try to be what he wants… It's not who I am… I can't pretend that I'm someone I don't know how to be… _

_I need more… But I can't go back to her… I don't __**want**__ to go back to her… _

_Maybe the world would be better off without me in it. I'm just a burden to everyone who meets me. All I did was drag Hero down… All I did was burden Mom… I'm just a toy to Larxene… _

_Why am I even here?_

_But how would I do it? How would I rid this world of the disgusting being that is me?_

Axel rubbed a hand over his thin face, closing his eyes and throwing his arm over them.

_I don't want to leave a mess. Especially not here. Hero-boy might find me if I do it here. I can't do that to him. Knives take too long… Drugs wouldn't do much to me… Hanging would be too much work… What else is there?_

A car backfired somewhere in the distance, and Axel slowly opened his eyes to look through the gaps between his fingers as the rain began to fall.

_That's it… A gun… I need to get money. I'll have to go back, just once more. Just for money._

With that the redhead pushed himself to his feet, heading out of the alley and towards the house that he had told himself he would never go to again. He didn't really think about the drugs, even as he walked towards his source of them. They were, surprisingly, the furthest thing from his thoughts.

His mind was focused on only one thing as he walked past the doors and towards Larxene's room.

She raised her head as he walked in, a grin coming onto her features. "It's been a while this time. Bout time you showed up."

"I'm not here for your drugs, Larx." Axel said dully. "I just need some money."

"And why would I possibly want to give you any money?" Larxene asked, her tone condescending as she raised an eyebrow.

Axel sighed. "Look, I just need some money. That's all I want, and then I'll go."

She idly examined her nails. "I'm afraid I'm fresh out of money. I might be persuaded to go and find some though…"

The redhead closed his eyes. "Fine. Do what you want with me. I just want the money."

"Good boy."

* * *

Axel stumbled back into his alley, his hand clenched around the gun hidden in his pocket. Larxene's 100 dollars hadn't bought anything spectacular, but it was more than enough to deal with him.

He glanced back at the entrance to the alley; his eyes scanning for the blond boy that he knew would be walking by here soon. There was no sign of him, and the redhead carefully climbed into the dumpster, settling in the corner.

_This is where I belong… In here with the trash… _

The gun gleamed faintly in the small amount of light pouring in from the open dumpster, lying innocently in his gloved hand. He stared at it for a moment, and then wrapped his hand around the handle, his finger resting lightly on the trigger. He turned his head, gently resting the cool metal against the bridge of his nose.

He closed his eyes, but just as his finger started to tighten…

"Axel?"

Axel froze, his eyes flying open. _Does that kid ever go away?_

"Axel, are you back there?"

The boy's voice sounded closer; he was moving into the alley. Axel swore to himself, if he pulled the trigger now, Roxas was going to come and see what it was, and he would see Axel's dead body.

That wasn't what he wanted.

His hands were shaking by now, and the gun slipped from his grasp to bang against the metal of the dumpster.

"Axel?.!"

_Shit._

A moment later the light was cut off as Roxas poked his head over the opening, his blue eyes wide as he spotted Axel sitting in the corner. The gun, thankfully, was hidden by Axel's leg.

"What are you doing in a dumpster?" Roxas asked, raising an eyebrow.

Axel snorted. "Being saved again, apparently."

Roxas blinked, a little confused at that response, but he smiled lightly, reaching in a hand. "Come on, Axel. Come home with me."

The redhead stared at the offered hand for a moment. "Home?"

"Yea. Home. Don't listen to Cloud, he doesn't know anything. Come on, you're going to catch a cold if you stay in here. It's freezing outside." He smiled at the redhead, pushing his hand a little closer. "Please?"

Axel chuckled lightly, shaking his head. "You really are a hero, aren't ya?"

"What do you mean by that?"

The redhead reached up, taking Roxas' hand and pulling himself out of the dumpster. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

* * *

So um... yea, it's been forever. Not that there's really anyone still reading, but still! GOOD NEWS! Fallen Truth and I are finally together again and we hope that we shall write some more in the coming days! (We hope...)

We don't own "45" by Shinedown.


	6. I Swore I Would Try

_Can hold my breath only for a little while  
__'Til reality starts sinking in  
Once again I'm settling for second best  
__Turn the pages skip to the end  
To where I swore that I would try  
__Since the last time I crossed that line  
__In the back of my mind_

I know it only hurts when your eyes are open

_Lies get tossed and truth is spoken  
__It only hurts when that door gets opened  
__Dreams are lost and hearts are broken_

_**It Only Hurts - Default**_

Chapter 6

I Swore I Would Try

Axel shifted uncomfortably on the couch across from Roxas, his gloved hands fidgeting in his lap. Roxas was watching him with intense eyes, his hands laced together in front of his mouth.

After a rather long, uncomfortable silence Roxas finally spoke, his voice soft and serious. "Alright Axel, there's going to have to be some ground rules. If you don't want to have any trouble with Cloud anymore, then you're going to have to make an effort to stop the drugs."

Axel nodded. "Yea, I figured as much. I don't want to go back anyway."

"I'm serious, Axel. This isn't a joking thing. If you keep doing them, even after I tell you right now that I want you stop, and that you're going to get kicked out if you don't, then I will be forced to kick you out." Roxas' voice was hard. "Cloud and I already got into a fight about this, and I'm sorry to say that I would rather kick you out then do that again." He looked down briefly. "Cloud and Sora are all I have left."

The redhead fidgeted. "Sorry."

Roxas waved it off. "Don't be. I think it was coming anyway. But do you understand what I'm saying? No more drugs."

"Yea, no more drugs. Got it memorized."

"I think we'll leave it at that then." Roxas said, a small smile on his face now. He seemed much happier now that he'd gotten this particular rule out into the open, and that Axel had agreed to it.

Somehow he felt that things were going to be better.

* * *

_I can't go back…_

_I can't… I told him I wouldn't. I promise… I swore that I wouldn't go anymore… I can't go back…_

_I can't go back…_

_I have to go back._

Axel stared at the clock, his mind whirling as he looked at the glowing red numbers. _I have two hours until Roxas comes home. That's more than enough time to get to Larxene's, and get back. I could just come in here and pretend to be sleeping when he comes home. He'll never know. _

He was shaking as he got up, heading through the silent apartment and out the door into the dark morning. He darted through the streets as fast as he could, his eyes scanning the area for anyone as he moved towards Larxene's house.

_He'll never know._

* * *

Roxas walked through the cool morning air, his hands stuffed in his pockets to keep them warm. He'd gotten off a little early today, and he was glad to be heading home at this time. He would get a chance to see Sora and Cloud before they went to work.

As he started to turn towards his apartment building he saw a flash of red, and, his eyes narrowing, he turned, watching as Axel darted out of an alleyway and towards the large house nearby.

_Axel? Where could he be going at this hour?_

Curious, the teen followed Axel, sneaking after him quietly so he wouldn't notice that he was there. Axel seemed nervous, wherever he was going, glancing around himself every so often and moving fast. He reached the front gate of the mansion and walked right in; the guards did nothing and the front door was opened for the redhead as he came up to it.

Roxas frowned, folding his arms as he watched the house. _Why is he here? Who does he know? And what does he want?_

The teen remained hidden until the door opened again almost a half an hour later, letting Axel out into the coolness of the morning. The redhead was stumbling slightly, a grin on his face as he walked away from the mansion. Roxas narrowed his eyes.

_He didn't… Did he?_

Axel made his way back to the apartment, weaving slightly as he walked. Roxas followed behind him silently, his blue eyes studying the older man's posture.

_You've got to be kidding me. He went and got high again? After I told him not to?.!_

He stood outside the building as Axel went in, deciding to give the redhead a chance to get in like he had no doubt planned to do in the first place. The blond sighed, running a hand through his bangs before starting towards the apartment.

_I'll leave it be for now. But if I see it again… I'll have to kick him out._

* * *

Roxas opened his door, leaving his room silently. The house was silent tonight; Cloud had been called in not long ago because of a large accident, and Sora was staying the night with Riku. Roxas had the house all to himself; which wasn't right.

Axel should have been there.

The blond teen headed out into the living room, sitting on the couch and folding his arms over his chest, his blue eyes focused on the front door.

Not a moment later the door opened and Axel came in, turning and carefully closing the door behind him. He froze a second later, and then slowly turned around to meet Roxas' eyes. The color drained from his face, and then he grinned faintly.

"Hey."

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Hello Axel."

The redhead grinned weakly, waving a hand at him. "What's up?"

"Oh nothing, really." Roxas said idly. "So how's your friend in the big mansion?"

Axel froze. "Uh…"

Roxas' eyes hardened, ice radiating from the cold blue orbs. "Don't play stupid with me Axel. I watched you go in there once before, and I'm not an idiot. I know that's where you were."

"You… followed me?"

"Yea, I followed you. Didn't count on me getting off early, now did you? Now what the fuck were you doing in there?" Roxas asked sharply. "And don't you dare lie to me."

Axel shuffled his feet slightly. "I… um…"

Roxas stood, almost appearing in front of Axel, his blue eyes staring straight into Axel's suddenly nervous green eyes. "You were getting drugs, weren't you?.! Even after I told you not to! On the very day I told you not to, you were there! How dare you lie to me like that!" The teen planted both hands against Axel's chest, pushing him back against the door.

"You used me, didn't you?.! All you wanted was the food and the shelter; you didn't care at all for what I was doing for you! Do you have any idea what I've gone through just for you?.! I had a fight with my brother, something I haven't done in years! And it was all for you!"

Axel put up his hands, trying to pacify the enraged blond. "Now, come on, it's not that bad, Hero, it was only once…"

Roxas growled at that. "It was not only once! I've seen you leave this apartment three times in the last week! Three times! That's more than once, you dolt!" He got closer, right up in Axel's face. "Has everything I've done meant nothing to you? Nothing at all? I'm trying to help you, and you just turn around and throw it all in my face!" He pushed Axel again. "Am I nothing to you?.!"

The redhead started to say something else, but at that moment tears suddenly exploded down Roxas' cheeks, raining down onto the carpet below them. Axel paused, his mouth open in shock, his mind blank.

"All I wanted was to help you!" Roxas said, anger still brimming in his voice. "I genuinely wanted to help you with this; I wanted to get to know you! Hell, I even cared for you, even though you were someone I hardly knew! Something was just telling me that I had to help you, that I could help you! And you made a liar out of me!"

Axel extended his arms, starting to reach for the blond. "I'm sor—"

Roxas shoved at his arms. "No. You're not sorry. Don't you even begin to say it, because I won't believe you."

The redhead's face fell, his arms falling back to his sides. "Hero…"

"Don't call me that!" Roxas yelled, tears still falling down his cheeks. "You have no right to call me by that! Heroes don't fail." He looked away from Axel, clenching his fists. "Get out."

Axel blinked. "What?"

Roxas glared at him. "You heard me. Get out."

"But…"

"No!" Roxas screamed at him. "I told you, didn't I?.! I told you that if you did this that I would be forced to kick you out! Get out! _**Get out!**_"

Axel took a step back, and then nodded, his eyes sad. "Alright… I'll go. I won't come back this time."

"Good." Roxas spat. "Because I don't want you back."

The redhead stared at him for a moment, his hand on the handle. Those words were like knives stabbing into his heart. Just before he shut the door he took the moment to do one last thing. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small silver ring on a chain. "This is the last thing that my Mom ever gave me." he murmured, letting it fall to the floor by Roxas' feet. "I want you to have it."

Roxas stared at the little silver ring, his blue eyes wide. No sound escaped him.

"I really am sorry, Hero. I never meant to hurt you. At least… now I won't be able to do it anymore. I won't be able to hurt anyone anymore."

The door closed.

Roxas' knees gave out, and he fell to the floor, curling in on himself next to the silver chain and ring.

A small whine escaped his lips.

And he wept.

* * *

We don't own "It Only Hurts" by Default.


	7. Return To Me Salvation

Okay, so we finished it. And instead of just waitng, we're posting it all right now. Hope you like it!

_I tried to kill the pain  
But only brought more  
I lay dying  
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming  
Am I too lost to be saved  
Am I too lost?_

_My God my tourniquet  
Return to me salvation  
My God my tourniquet  
Return to me salvation_

_**Tourniquet - Evanescence**_

Chapter 7

Return To Me Salvation

Cloud felt that there was something wrong the moment he got inside the apartment building. He shifted uncomfortably as he dug for his keys, glancing around the hallway as he slipped the key in the slot.

Something was horribly wrong.

The door opened to a dimly lit apartment, and complete silence. Cloud didn't expect there to be any noise; it was still early in the morning, and Roxas was no doubt sleeping, as was their redheaded guest. As he shut the door, however, there was a noise from behind him, a rather watery sounding whimper.

The blond turned around, his eyes scanning, and then his face grew shocked. Roxas was crumpled on the floor in front of him, one hand barely extended towards a silver chain and ring that lay in front of him. His eyes were wide, red-rimmed, and dull, staring at the ring in front of him.

Cloud went to his knees next to his brother, reaching out to him. He didn't seem hurt, and so the blond carefully gathered the younger into his arms. "Oh, Rox, what's happened? What's wrong?"

Part of Cloud was terrified; he hadn't seen Roxas cry like this since he was 6 when their mother had passed away. Whatever had happened had hurt Roxas deeply, the teen didn't respond to his touches and whispers and merely lay limply in his grasp.

Cloud smoothed Roxas' tear damp hair away from his forehead, trying to coax a response out of him. "Roxas, please little one, tell me what's wrong…"

Roxas whimpered again, and then slowly pulled his knees up, curling into Cloud's embrace and going into a ball on the older's lap. Cloud held him closer as he clenched a hand in the white coat that Cloud was wearing, pressing his face against Cloud's shoulder. The older blond lay his cheek against Roxas' hair as his small body began to shake with renewed sobs, clutching him close and rocking back and forth slightly.

"It's okay… I'm here; I'm not going to leave you… I'm here…"

* * *

Some part of Sora was a little worried as he found the front door unlocked. They almost always locked the door, being in the neighborhood they were and merely habit made them lock it almost 24/7. So it being open was a little… disconcerting.

The brunette pushed the door open cautiously, putting his bag down by the doorway as he headed into the apartment, looking for some form of life.

_That's weird… Roxas is almost always out here watching TV… Where is everyone?_

He found Cloud in the kitchen, sitting silently at the table with a cup of coffee cradled in his hands. He wasn't drinking, and it was obvious that he hadn't; the mug was still full and no longer steaming. The elder Strife merely stared at the brown liquid, his body completely still.

Sora crept closer, cautious. "Cloud?"

Cloud blinked as though coming out of a trance, glancing up at his younger brother. "Oh, hey Sora. How was Riku?"

"He's okay." Sora said slowly, going to sit next to Cloud. "What happened while I was gone? Where's Roxas?"

At that Cloud sighed, running a hand through his bangs. "He's sleeping. I finally got him to sleep about an hour ago."

"Huh?"

"I really don't know, Sora." Cloud said softly. "I have no idea. I came in here around 5 this morning and found Roxas just lying on the floor by the front door. He'd cried so hard he'd run out of tears…"

Sora blinked in shock. "What? He hasn't cried since… well, since Mom died."

"Yea, I know." Cloud murmured. "It's also the first time he's ever really let me hold him like that. He's not a cuddly person, but he wouldn't let me go for the longest time. It was only when he finally fell asleep that I was able to get his hand out of my coat."

"Wow… Do you have any clue as to what happened?" Sora asked, tilting his head.

Cloud shrugged. "Not really. All I know is that Axel's gone, and there was this lying in front of Roxas."

He deposited a silver ring on the table, the chain trailing from his fingers. Sora examined it silently, but shook his head. "I've never seen it. Do you think it's from Axel?"

"Most likely. I don't know what happened, and it's starting to worry me. What did Axel do that's got Roxas this broken up?" Cloud murmured, going back to studying his long since cold coffee.

Sora sighed, and then pushed himself to his feet. "I'll go sit in his room until he wakes. It wouldn't be a good idea to have him wake up alone."

Cloud nodded absently, still watching his coffee.

"Cloud…" Sora murmured, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Go get some sleep. You look exhausted. I can take care of him, okay?"

"Yea. I'll do that." Cloud muttered. "Let me know when he wakes up, okay?"

Sora nodded. "Yea, will do."

* * *

Two hours later Sora watched as Roxas rolled towards him and his eyes slowly opened, identical shades of blue meeting. The older boy sighed, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair.

"Well?"

Roxas was quiet for a long moment, and then he looked towards the ceiling, breaking their locked gaze. "He's gone."

Sora snorted softly. "I got that much."

"I told him to get out." Roxas murmured, lifting a hand and putting it over his eyes. "I told him to leave, and he just left."

There was soft knock at the door, and then Cloud poked his head in. "Oh, you are awake."

Sora looked to his older brother. "Did you sleep at all, Cloud?"

Cloud shook his head slightly, but took a seat on the edge of the bed, his eyes on Roxas. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." Roxas answered softly. "Drained."

Sora broke the silence, as was his usual job. "So what happened?"

"I caught him."

Cloud tilted his head. "Huh?"

Roxas ran a hand through his hair, and then put his face in the palm of his hand. "I caught him going out and getting the drugs. So I kicked him out. And he actually left. I… I was so sure that he would tell me no. But he… he really left."

"Roxas…" Sora murmured, putting a hand over his brother's. "You did what was best."

The blond shook his head. "No… No, I made things worse."

Cloud frowned, and then his eyes widened. "Roxas, you don't…"

Tears filled Roxas' eyes again as he looked down at the blankets that covered his legs. "I care for him, Cloud. I don't know why. I don't even know how it happened. I just know that I care for him. More than I should." He clenched his hand in the sheets. "I didn't want him to leave. Part of me wanted him to tell me no. But… he just left. Left me with this."

He held up his hand, showing the silver chain that dangled from his fingers. Sora stared at the ring for a moment. "What is it?"

"It was his mother's. He said that he wanted me to have it." Roxas murmured, feeling over the smooth metal. "He said it was the last thing that she gave him when she still loved him. It's got to be the only thing he has left of her, and he gave it to me…"

He clutched the ring to his chest. "But he said… he said he wouldn't hurt me anymore."

Sora nodded. "That's true."

Roxas' eyes suddenly widened, his heart stopping. "No… He said he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore." He raised his head. "Axel…"

He threw himself to his feet, darting around Sora and Cloud and out of the room. He nearly tripped over his own feet as he ran, his eyes wide and his heart racing.

"AXEL!"

* * *

The broken glass glinted in the moonlight, shining faintly in Axel's gloved hand. He stared at it silently, and then clenched his hand around the piece.

_I hurt him. I lied to him, I betrayed his trust. He'll never take me back now. _

_I can't live like this anymore, especially if I can't be with him. He gave me… purpose. And I betrayed that. _

He barely flinched at the pain as the glass cut through his skin, trailing a line of blood along the veins that led from his elbow to his wrist. The blood welled up over the cut skin, flowing over his arm and dripping to the ground.

He would not be found this time.

Again he cut, and again he barely flinched. It was nothing, this pain. Nothing compared to what he must have done to Roxas.

His hands were shaking by the time he removed the shard from his torn arms, holding it up towards his throat. The final cut, the final way to make sure that even if he was found, there would be no coming back from it this time.

A hand clapped on his wrist a second later, just above the bleeding gash. A soft whisper made its way to his ears. "Don't you dare."

Axel turned his head, his eyes meeting Roxas' teary blue gaze. "But…"

"No." Roxas said fiercely. "Don't you dare give up now. Not after what's happened. We can get through this. I can help you. I will help you."

"No one can help me." Axel whispered. "I'll just hurt you again."

Roxas smiled softly. "No. You won't, I know it. Just please, don't give up on me. On yourself. Because you can do this. I believe in you."

The redhead dropped his head, silent tears beginning to stream from his eyes, as the darkness from blood loss began to take him over. "I'm so sorry, Hero…so sor—"

"Axel? AXEL!.? Don't you give up on me! Don't you leave me!"

The red lashes closed and Axel could no longer respond.

* * *

We don't own "Tourniquet" by Evanescence


	8. I'm Sorry

_Oh I had a lot to say  
Was thinking on my time away  
I missed you and things weren't the same  
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die._

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue  
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds

_And baby the way you make my world go 'round  
And I just wanted to say  
__I'm sorry._

_**Sorry - Buckcherry**_

Chapter 8

I'm Sorry

Axel awoke with a groan, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to raise a hand to rub his eyes. A stab of pain went through his arms, making him wince and forget the action.

"Well, well, he awakes."

The redhead forced his eyes open to meet smug blue eyes. He blinked, and then frowned. "Cloud?"

The blond raised an eyebrow. "Hello to you too."

"I'm dead and you're here to punish me for eternity, right?"

Cloud snorted. "As if. However, if you ever make my brother cry like that again, I will personally make sure that you wish you were dead."

Axel blinked. "I… made him cry?"

"Yea. For about… 4 hours or so, depending on when you actually left. It could have been longer." Cloud said, idly checking the redhead's IV and morphine drip. "Are you in pain?"

"A little. Nothing I can't handle." Axel replied.

Cloud folded his arms, staring silently at Axel. "You know, Roxas has never really showed this sort of interest in anyone. It really surprised me when he brought you home, but I suppose he is the oddball of the family."

"Yea…" Axel said softly. "Picked me of all people."

The blond nodded. "That's right. I'll tell you something though. Roxas really believes in you. He believes in you like I've never seen him believe in anything since our mother died. That's gotta mean something. So I'm going to stand behind him, even if it means dealing with you the entire time."

"Really?"

Cloud was silent for a moment. "Let's get this straight. I don't like you. I don't like the way you act, I don't like what you do. I don't like you. But for some unknown reason, Roxas does. And I'm prepared to deal with that. But you screw up one more time, and you will be begging for death. Roxas has had more than enough to deal with in his life, and he doesn't need you adding more onto the load. It that clear?"

Axel nodded. "Clear as mud."

"I'm serious, Axel." Cloud said sharply. "I'm not going to let you just slide like he does. This is your last chance. You screw up again, and I'll get you out of our lives. I'll move him if I have to. I won't let him be hurt anymore, that's the promise I made to myself when I took over caring for them."

The redhead nodded. "I understand, I promise. I won't screw up again. I don't… I don't want to hurt him again. That was the worst feeling I've ever had in my life. Even worse than when my Mom stopped caring."

Cloud smiled slightly. "Good. I'm glad you understand. Now, you get healed. Roxas is beside himself with worry."

"Will he come see me?"

"I don't know, actually. He hasn't yet. It might take him a while to convince himself to come here." Cloud responded as he headed for the door. "I'm not going to encourage him though, if that's what you were hoping. It's a decision he has to make on his own."

Axel looked down. "Yea. And Cloud?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

Cloud snorted. "If nothing else, I'm doing it for Roxas."

Axel smiled slightly. "Still. Thanks."

"Whatever."

* * *

Days passed, and still Roxas didn't come. Axel healed slowly, and he spent most of his time thinking on what had happened. He knew now that he shouldn't have acted so impulsively. He'd only caused more pain, and it hadn't helped anything.

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face as he stared at the ceiling. He wanted to see Roxas, but at the same time he didn't. He didn't want to see the pain that would no doubt still be lingering in Roxas' eyes.

There was a soft knock at the door, and then it opened slowly. Axel turned his head to meet bright blue eyes. Roxas smiled as he came in, shutting the door slowly behind him. "Hey."

Axel smiled. "Hey."

Roxas moved forward, sitting in the chair next to Axel's bed, his eyes flickering back and forth between Axel's face and anything else in the room. Axel studied him, and then his eyes widened.

A glint of silver was lying against Roxas' collarbone, and Axel felt a part of him warm as he realized that it was his mother's ring. Roxas was wearing it.

"You're wearing the ring." Axel murmured, his hand stretching out to touch the chain.

Roxas nodded. "Yea."

"That's my mother's wedding band. From the ring that my real father gave her." Axel said softly, withdrawing his arm.

"It's very beautiful." Roxas replied, his fingers ghosting over the band where it rested against his shirt. "Thank you for giving it to me."

Axel nodded, but didn't speak. They were silent for a long moment, and then Axel sighed. "Look, about what happened…"

Roxas shook his head. "Don't. Just… leave it alone. I think that we both… said and did some things that we didn't mean to do, and so the best thing to do now is to just let it go."

Axel shook his head. "No, I can't just let that go. I did something that was… horrible. I betrayed your trust, I lied to you, and I don't deserve forgiveness."

"Everyone deserves forgiveness once and a while." Roxas said softly. "Even when you screw up as bad as you did. Cause let's face it, you screwed up big time."

The redhead snorted. "Yea, Cloud already gave me that lecture."

"The whole 'hurt my brother again and I'll kill you' speech?" Roxas said with a grin, his blue eyes finally sparkling faintly.

Axel nodded. "Complete with the 'I don't like you' one."

Roxas smiled, shaking his head slightly. "That's my brother for you. Cloud's always been protective of us, it's just who he is. He's been taking care of us for a long time, ever since Dad walked out on us. He's used to being the wall between us and anything that might cause us pain." He snorted faintly. "You should have seen him when Sora met Riku, his current boyfriend, for the first time. That was an interesting experience."

"I think that you deserve to know where I was really going." Axel murmured after a few moments of silence. "I never did tell you, did I?"

Roxas shook his head. "I know where you went; you went to that big house. You don't have to tell me."

"No, you don't know the whole story." Axel said forcefully. "When I left my parents house, I wandered for a long time, trying to figure out what to do. I was found by a woman named Larxene. I was starving at the time, and I had nowhere to go, so she took me back to her house. That mansion. She… She was the one to get me hooked. She's the one that I have to keep going back to."

He snorted slightly. "She made the comment once that she owns me. I guess in a way she does. Just like the last time that I tried to cut myself off, I almost killed myself over it. She really does own my life."

Roxas frowned. "Not anymore. You don't have to go back to her anymore."

Axel nodded. "I sure hope so, Hero. I hope so."

They sat in silence for a few moments, and then Roxas pushed himself to his feet. "I really should go."

Axel's face fell a little. "Please don't."

Roxas blinked. "I really do need to go. Cloud's expecting me home soon."

"You can't go." Axel pleaded. "You can't leave me alone."

"You'll be fine without me, Axel; the world's not going to end if I'm not here." Roxas said, his eyes a little concerned.

"You can't leave me alone!" Axel said sharply. "I go crazy every time you're not here! Just look what I did last time I left!"

"Axel…" Roxas sighed. "You'll be fine, I promise. There are lots of people here to take care of you. Besides, I'll be back before long."

With that he turned to leave, but Axel reached out, grabbing his wrist tightly and pulling him backwards towards him. Roxas let out a faint squeak as he was yanked backwards, turned around and flung over Axel's thin body.

Axel grunted faintly as Roxas landed on his chest, his arm automatically going around the blond's slender waist. He opened his eyes slowly, and stared into shocked blue orbs.

Their faces were mere centimeters apart, breath mixing as they stared at each other. Axel was still for a long moment, and then he moved, acting on instinct to close the distance between their lips.

Roxas stared at the redhead, and then pulled away sharply, leaping off the bed and backing towards the door. Axel put out a hand, his eyes a little panicked. "Wait! Wait, I didn't mean it! Don't go!"

But the blond didn't listen; he turned and ran from the room, leaving Axel alone in the white hospital room.

* * *

The apartment building was quiet when Axel walked into the living room. He closed the door quietly behind him, and then smiled slightly when he looked to the couch. Roxas was lying there, curled up on his side with one arm pillowed beneath his head, the other hanging off the edge of the couch to brush the floor.

Axel grabbed the throw blanket that was over the chair, carefully draping it over the blond's slender body to ward off the chill of the apartment. As the blanket settled over his shoulders, Roxas shifted slightly, his eyes fluttering open.

He smiled. "Hey. I waited for you."

Axel smiled in return, touching the boy's face gently. "Thanks, but I didn't deserve that." He was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry."

Roxas snuggled into the couch, already mostly asleep again. "Don't worry… you're forgiven…"

Axel stayed there for a while, just smiling at the boy that lay on the couch in front of him, a little in awe that this wonderful person could want to help someone as hopeless as himself.

"Thanks Hero…"

* * *

_We don't own "Sorry" by Buckcherry_


	9. Guilt Kicks In

_I think you can do much better than me  
After all the lies that I made you believe  
Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you_

_  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me_

_**Better Than Me - Hinder**_

Chapter 9

Guilt Kicks In

Roxas awoke with a start in the early hours of the day, not long after he had gone to bed when he got home. He sat up; looking around the room as he tried to figure out what had woken him in the first place.

There was a scream from the room next to his own, and then the bed hit the wall. Roxas flew out of the bed, going to the door and running to the bedroom next to his. That cry was clearly Axel, he knew it.

The door gave as soon as he hit it, flying open as he went into the darkness of the room. He could only see the thrashing lump on the bed, hear the soft whimpers and moans of what sounded like pain. Roxas frowned, moving forward and reaching out to shake Axel's shoulder.

He paused before he touched the other's skin, his eyes a little wide as he stared at the expression on Axel's face.

Terror. Axel was frightened, and he was thrashing and flailing as though he could fight off the horrors that were attacking him in his dreams. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut; his teeth clenched and sweat pouring down his pale skin.

Roxas grabbed his shoulder, shaking frantically. "Axel! Axel, wake up!"

The redhead didn't wake, his head thrashing on the pillow, his teeth clenching tighter as a soft cry echoed from between his teeth. Roxas shook him harder, worry brimming in his eyes. "Axel!"

A hand flashed out, wrapping tightly in the collar of his wife-beater and pulling the teen forward sharply, making him let out a cry. A second later Roxas' eyes were locked in Axel's icy green orbs, the redhead's gaze sharp and confused.

"A-Axel?"

Recognition flashed into Axel's eyes and he gasped, his arm automatically flinging Roxas backwards, causing the teen to stumble backwards before righting himself. Axel curled in on himself, covering his face with both hands and shivering.

Roxas blinked in shock, staring at the redhead as he tried to make himself smaller on the bed, his arms wrapping around his shoulders. He crept forward as Axel stilled, worry on his face. "Axel? Are you okay?"

The red head shook slightly, and then Roxas sighed, moving forward to sit quietly on the bed. He reached out after a moment, gently touching Axel's shoulder. "Hey, come on, I'm here to listen if you want to – eep!"

Roxas was cut off as Axel suddenly flung himself at him, wrapping his arms around his ribcage and squeezing tightly, the other's face buried in his chest. He blinked in shock, staring down at the red spikes for a moment before slowly returning the shaky hold that Axel had on him. His hand settled against Axel's bright red hair, causing him to flinch before he went still again, only shivering slightly.

"Hey, what happened?" Roxas murmured, his fingers flexing lightly as his other arm tightened around Axel's shoulders. The redhead moved closer, curling his body up towards Roxas' lap, trying to make himself smaller as Roxas felt his shirt growing damp at his chest.

"Axel? Hey, tell me what's wrong. Why are you crying?" Roxas asked, a little unnerved at this new thing. He had never seen Axel cry, not since his last suicide attempt.

Axel shivered again, and then his voice softly came from against Roxas' chest. "It'll never end…"

Roxas frowned, his eyes narrowing. "What? What are you talking about?"

He shifted, moving Roxas with him until the blond was leaning against the headboard, his head against his chest and their legs stretched out on the bed. "You need to be comfortable…" Axel murmured. "There's a bit of a… story coming."

The blond blinked, but nodded, rearranging himself so he was comfortable with Axel lying partially in his lap, his arms wrapped around Roxas' waist and his head lying on the blond's collarbone. He sighed faintly, and then flexed his fingers in Axel's hair, stroking gently to attempt to calm him.

"I didn't… tell you everything about my past." Axel began quietly. "When I left my house, I had nothing, I told you that already. I wandered for a long time, going from place to place trying to find somewhere that I could try and make a life for myself. I starved most of that time; I could see my ribs constantly, and I was always hungry. I had dizzy spells a lot, and most of the time what I did get to eat wasn't good for me. Half the time it made me sick. I passed out a lot, and more often than not it was in an alleyway." He sighed. "I can hardly remember a time that I wasn't sick or throwing up."

Roxas' eyebrows twitched together in concern, and his arms tightened around Axel's ribs, but he said nothing, knowing that the redhead wouldn't want his sorries.

Axel paused for a long moment, merely breathing in Roxas' scent, and then continued softly. "Not long after I came to this city, I passed out again in another alley. But when I woke up, I was not there; I was in a house that I had never seen before. It scared me at first, but there was a woman there, a blonde lady who said that she had found me and taken me in."

"That was Larxene. She seemed so kind and wonderful at first; she was pretty, and she fed and cared for me. It wasn't long before I finally felt like myself again, and I was no longer dizzy and sick all the time." Axel snorted faintly. "Little did I know, she was just turning me into something that she wanted."

The redhead shuddered faintly, and then continued. "One night she came to me late, and then started to flirt with me. I was young, but I was no stranger to affections. I had had a few girlfriends in school, but nothing serious. I fought back at first, because I didn't want it, but she tied me down… and she raped me."

Roxas' eyes widened, a faint gasp escaping his lips. He shuddered, his arms tightening around Axel as the redhead turned his face towards the teen, burying his nose against the blond's chest. Roxas tried to speak, but no words escaped him.

"I fought as hard as I could, but I couldn't do anything. She would slap me every time I managed to hurt her at all, and when she finally finished with me I had a black eye and a swollen lip. She also had tied the ropes too tight; I couldn't feel my hands and feet, and I ended up breaking my wrist because I pulled so hard on the ropes. She was a sadistic one, and she liked to see me bleed." Axel sat up, pushing himself away from Roxas to pull off his shirt.

Roxas gasped again, tears burning at his eyes. Axel's upper body was covered with scars, lacing across his skinny ribs and over his arms and shoulders. Some were straight, but most were zig-zagged across his skin, ripped into his flesh with what must have been brutal force.

"And she smiled the entire time…" Axel murmured. "She didn't want to listen to me scream afterwards, and so, to shut me up, she injected me with meth. It was her plan to get me hooked, so that way I would have to come back to her to get it for free, that way she could get her pleasure from me every time. I was… attractive to her, and she had taken a liking to me. She wanted to own me."

The redhead flinched as gentle hands touched his chest, the fingers ghosting across the angry scars that laced his body. Axel's green eyes met Roxas', and he felt a pang in his heart as he saw the hurt and sadness in the teen's eyes. "Is this what happens every time?" Roxas whispered.

Axel smiled ruefully. "She no longer has to tie me down. All she has to do is threaten to cut me off. I can't stop myself then. I… I try, every time, but no matter what I do, I can't stop myself."

The redhead blinked in shock as Roxas moved forward, wrapping both arms tightly around Axel and holding him close, his body shivering faintly. Roxas breathed out slowly, closing his eyes. "I'm so sorry, I didn't understand… I didn't know what you'd been through. I promise, I'll try harder to help you, okay? I'll do whatever I can, anything that will help."

Axel sighed faintly. "Why would you want to help me, Hero? I still don't understand…"

Roxas shivered. "I… I care for you Axel. More than I probably should." He leaned away; staring into Axel's confused eyes. "You are… you are so amazing, and I wish that you could see yourself the way that I do. You are strong and resilient, but you just need someone to help you help yourself. That's all you ever needed, and I know that I can give you that." He grinned. "I feel like I finally figured out what I'm meant to do with myself. And that's to help you in any way that I can."

Axel smiled faintly, leaning his head back against Roxas' collarbone as the teen cradled him close again. "Thanks Hero…"

* * *

"Hey, Cloud?"

The blond looked up from his morning coffee, his bright blue eyes meeting acid green ones. He frowned slightly, but responded to Axel's question nonetheless. "What can I do for you Axel?"

The redhead looked away from the elder Strife's calculating gaze, feeling a little pressured under those sharp eyes. "I… You're a doctor, right? Do you think you could help me with something?"

Cloud raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "I suppose it would be my duty as a doctor to assist you with something if you needed medical help. What is it that you need?"

"I want you to put me in rehab." Axel said sharply, his eyes rising again to meet Cloud's. "I think that it's the best thing to do right now. Roxas really means to keep me around, even though I keep telling him that he deserves better. So I think it's time for me to take some action of my own, and help him out a little, because he seems determined to do this whether I want him to or not. So… I need some help, can you help me?"

Cloud stared at him for a few moments, and then nodded. "I approve. It's nice to see you doing something in return for all that Roxas has done for you. I will look into it today. I warn you though, Axel, you'll probably be put into a pretty hardcore rehab center. You've been through a lot, even though I don't know the extent of it all. You'll also have to let me know everything that you've been through, so I know where to place you."

Axel shifted again at that news, but he nodded. "I knew all that. So, how soon do you think you can do this?"

"I'll know by tonight."

* * *

_We don't own "Better Than Me" by Hinder_


	10. Gomen Nasai

_When I wanted to call you  
And ask you for help  
I stopped myself  
__  
Gomen nasai for everything  
Gomen nasai, I know I let you down  
Gomen nasai till the end  
I never needed a friend  
Like I do now_

_**Gomen Nasai – t.A.T.u**_

Chapter 10

Gomen Nasai

"Roxas, come on! You can't sit in here and mope forever!"

Roxas raised his eyes, meeting Sora's identical blue orbs with a blank expression on his pale face. He shook his head slightly, his eyes falling away from Sora's again. "Sorry Sora. I just don't… I don't want to go anywhere. I don't feel well."

Sora sighed, sitting down on the bed beside his brother. "Roxas…" He reached out and placed a hand on Roxas' shoulder, his face sad. "I know that you're sad, but you know that you can't do this until he comes back. You and I both know that's not what he would want."

"I know…" Roxas murmured. "But I just don't… feel like doing anything."

"Come on, just for a little while." Sora pleaded. "You haven't been out with the gang for a while, just come to the movies with us. That's all I'm asking. Besides, Riku's been wanting to see you again."

Roxas sighed faintly after a moment of silence. He had felt this way since he had been told by Cloud that Axel was gone. He had woken earlier than normal, expecting to see Axel sitting in his room watching him like he nearly always did, but there was no sign of the redhead.

He had gone out into the living room to find Cloud sitting out there, a serious expression in his blue eyes as he watched his little brother.

Axel had been taken to a rehab center somewhere in the depths of the city. Roxas barely knew the place, all he knew that it was a rather tough place. Then again, Axel had been through a lot of things.

After so long of having Axel in his life every day, of having the redhead there to talk to and help out, not having him there was… empty. Roxas felt a little lost without the eccentric redhead that he had come to care for.

Sora's hand on his shoulder squeezed slightly. "Roxas?"

The blond nodded. "Alright. I'll come to the movies."

A brilliant smile spread over the older's face, and he hopped to his feet. "Well come on then, they're waiting for us out in the living room!"

Roxas blinked. "They?"

Sora nodded. "Yea, Riku, Demyx, and Zexion. They were the only ones that could go; I called them earlier, so it was rather short notice."

The blond smiled faintly; that was just like his absent-minded brother. Sora meant well, but he tended to be spontaneous and forgetful, no matter how much he tried not to be. With a sigh Roxas pushed himself to his feet, following after Sora as the brunette bounced through the apartment. Roxas smiled at Riku as he saw the silver-headed man sitting on the couch.

On the chair across from Riku Demyx and Zexion sat together, Zexion settled on Demyx's lap while the mulleted boy rested his head against Zexion's throat. The two had been dating for nearly five years now, and Roxas was just waiting for Zexion to pop the question. He knew that the two were perfect for each other; Demyx's hyper and optimistic nature balancing out Zexion's quiet thoughtfulness and analytical mind. It was somewhat similar to the relationship that Sora and Riku had; Sora's constant bounciness to Riku's cool calmness.

Sora grabbed his boyfriend's hand, pulling him to his feet with a big grin on his face. "Come on guys, the movie's gonna start soon, and Roxas says he'll go with us!"

Zexion pushed himself up, followed a moment later by Demyx, who gently intertwined their fingers as the two made their way after Sora. As the group walked Zexion gently placed a hand on Roxas' shoulder, squeezing slightly to get the younger's attention.

Roxas' sapphire eyes met Zexion's violet ones, and a moment of understanding moved between the two. Zexion's eyes asked their question, and Roxas smiled slightly, nodding in response. Roxas was used to these silent exchanges; Zexion had never been much of a talker. The older boy smiled faintly as Roxas nodded at him. "Things will work out."

The blond smiled. "Thanks Zexion."

The group made their way to the movie theater, and the longer that he was with them, the more awkward Roxas felt. During the movie he was surrounded by couples, Demyx and Zexion on his right, Demyx leaning his head against his shorter boyfriend's shoulder; Riku and Sora on his left, Sora curled up against Riku's side with the silver-headed boy's arm around his shoulders.

Roxas looked down at his hands, losing interest in the movie rapidly. His heart beat a little faster, and despite his desperate attempts to remain calm, he felt his eyes begin to burn faintly. The others were enamored with the movie; they never noticed the silent tears streaming down Roxas' cheeks for most of the film.

Just before the end of the movie Roxas carefully wiped at his face, trying to compose himself. The tears paid him no mind; they continued to fall against his will. Roxas pushed himself to his feet, slipping past Zexion's knees to leave the theater. Sora blinked in concern, following his brother to catch him just before the exit to the dark theater.

"Roxas?"

"I'm going to go home, Sora." Roxas said, managing to keep the tears out of his voice.

Sora took another step forward, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Roxas, please, stay with us. You don't need to go back home."

Roxas stepped away from Sora, another tear slipping down his cheek. "Please, Sora. I'm going home."

With that the blond walked away, leaving Sora staring at him with concern written all over his features.

* * *

Cloud came home to see Roxas curled up in the overstuffed chair in the living room, his chin resting on his arms as he stared off into the space near the window. The tall blond blinked, and then moved forward, sitting on the ottoman in front of his brother.

"Hey, little one." Cloud murmured, reaching out to ruffle Roxas' hair gently. "How are you doing?"

Roxas didn't respond for a moment, and then he spoke softly. "I'm okay, I guess. I feel a little…" He fell quiet, staring again. He sighed faintly a moment later. "Sora's an idiot."

Cloud snorted in response. "And you just figured that out? What did he do this time?"

"He wanted to cheer me up, I know. But as you know, Sora's not the best at that. He tends to miss the obvious." Roxas said quietly. "He wanted me to go to the movies with him, Riku, Demyx, and Zexion."

Cloud instantly understood. "Surrounded by couples."

Roxas nodded. "Yea. I don't think I've ever felt so… alone."

The elder Strife sighed faintly, his hand resting on Roxas' head. "Well, Sora's got your best interests at heart, at least, even if he's not really sure what to do. Look, Roxas, he is right about one thing. You need to stop moping around."

"I know…" Roxas murmured. "I just can't seem to get up the want to do much of anything. I guess that Axel had really become my reason for getting up in the morning."

Cloud chuckled. "It's amazing that he managed to worm his way that far into your heart. He's certainly a… different sort of person. Even so, I am impressed by the fact that he came to me asking for help, just because of you." He was quiet for a moment. "I'm very proud of you, Roxas."

Roxas looked to his brother, his eyes a little confused. "I thought you weren't happy with me finding him?"

"Well, I wasn't at first… But you've done very well with him. You've certainly turned him around; Axel has made you his purpose. Everything that he's going through right now, he's doing it all for you." Cloud said firmly. "You are his drive and his spirit. All I can say is that he needs you right now more than ever."

"How bad is it?" Roxas asked after a moment.

Cloud sighed, running a hand through his bangs. "Even I wasn't sure how bad it was until after his evaluation. But it's pretty… extensive. He was abused both physically and mentally as a child, leaving emotional and physical scars there. He was abandoned at a young age, and out on his own at only 15. His body still shows some signs of starvation from that time, and he was on meth for nearly three years. He was raped for several years, and that's taken a toll on his already rather fragile emotional state. He's no longer suicidal, but he told us that he's tried more than four times. He also told the doctors that he gets migraines often, though that has gotten better since we administered a drug for him."

Roxas felt his heart sink a little. "Is he ever going to get out of there?"

The elder blond nodded, a smile on his face as he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "He's responding extremely well to treatments, and he's improving rapidly. Like I said, he's made you his driving force behind everything, and it's really pushing him right along. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't spend much longer than a few months in rehab, if only to clear him completely of the meth."

"So he's… He's really doing okay?"

Cloud nodded with another smile. "He's doing just fine. He's having a bit of trouble detoxing, but that's to be expected. Don't worry though, that's exactly why he's in rehab in the first place; so we can help him with that."

For the first time in the week that Axel had been in rehab, Roxas felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He breathed, sinking further into the chair and closing his eyes. "Good…"

Cloud tilted his head slightly. "Was that all that was wrong, Rox? Were you just worried about him?"

Roxas nodded. "I guess so. He's very stubborn, and I was worried that he wouldn't take to the doctors and people trying to help him. I was worried that it wouldn't work, and that he was just there, stuck in a place that he didn't like and that wasn't helping him."

The elder blond chuckled. "I never said he liked it much, Roxas."

The younger smiled. "Yea, I guess."

Roxas shifted in the chair, moving to stare at the ceiling. "Cloud…"

"Hmm?"

"I think that I love him." Roxas whispered.

Cloud sighed after a moment. "Well, I'd have to agree with you, especially after the way you've been acting. I can't say that I'm thrilled with it, but at the moment I'm content; I'm rather impressed with his efforts to change for you."

"I still don't know when it happened." Roxas said softly. "I just know that at some point I started thinking that he was just this… wonderful person, someone who just needed a little guidance to become an amazing and confident man. And he's very beautiful, in his own way." He chuckled softly. "A part of me can't wait to see what he looks like once he's back to normal, you know, not so skinny and…"

"Like hell froze over?" Cloud provided drily.

Roxas shrugged. "That's the best way to put it I guess. But yea, I just know that he's going to be amazing inside and out, once he's back on track."

"I believe you're right." Cloud responded. "Axel is very confident in himself, and in what he has found in you. It's all he ever talks about."

After a few moments of comfortable silence Cloud spoke again. "He asks about you every day, you know. He always wants to know how you're doing and how things are going."

"That sounds just like him."

"Are you ever going to go see him, Roxas?" Cloud asked softly. "Normally I wouldn't encourage that, but… I really do think that Axel needs you right now. He needs your support, and, more than anything, he needs your love. It's the only sort of love that he has right now, and I believe that it's the only one he's put any faith into."

Roxas stared at the ceiling for a moment longer, and then nodded with a sigh. "Yea. I'll go see him. Tomorrow, I promise." He turned to meet Cloud's eyes. "I'm sorry, Cloud. I feel like I've been closing myself off from you too much. You only wanted to help, and I pushed you away."

Cloud shrugged. "You were confused and scared; you did the natural thing for a teenager to do. Besides, you did nothing wrong. And in the end, you still managed to include me and let me help you."

Roxas grinned faintly. "Now all I've got to do is get Sora to realize that what he did wasn't quite the right way to go."

The elder Strife snorted in response to that. "Good luck with that one. Explaining things to Sora is like talking to a brick wall."

They laughed together, and for the first time in a week, Roxas felt like himself again.

* * *

_We don't own "Gomen Nasai" by t.A.T.u_


	11. Let Love In

_**THERE IS A LEMON IN THIS CHAPTER! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**_

* * *

_You wait, wanting this world  
To let you in  
And you stand there  
A frozen light  
In dark and empty streets  
You smile hiding behind  
A God-given face  
But I know you're so much more  
Everything they ignore  
Is all that I need to see  
_

_And you're the only one I ever believed in  
The answer that could never be found  
The moment you decided to let love in  
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel  
The end of fear is where we begin  
The moment we decided to let love in_

_**Let Love In – Goo Goo Dolls**_

Chapter 11

Let Love In

_Roxas smiled slightly as he sat down, looking at Axel through the glass that separated them. The redhead's eyes were a little anxious, but he looked better than Roxas had seen him look in the entire time that he had known him. His face wasn't as pale, and the shadows under his eyes were lighter. His face had filled out a little more as well. _

_"Hey."_

_Axel waved slightly, putting his ear to the phone that they had to communicate through. "Hey Hero."_

_"You're looking a lot better." Roxas said sincerely, his blue eyes shimmering faintly as he looked his gaze with Axel's green eyes. "You know Axel… I'm so very proud of you."_

_Axel blinked, a little shocked at those words, and then a small smile spread across his face. "I… Thanks. The doctors keep telling me that I'm doing well, but I just want to come home." _

_Roxas raised a hand, tapping his fingers against the glass lightly. Axel smiled faintly, raising his hand to meet Roxas' against the cool surface. There was a silence between them for a moment, and then Roxas smiled ruefully. "I miss you."_

_The redhead chuckled faintly. "You miss having me in the house? Worrying about whether or not I'm going to do something stupid like killing myself or going to get meth again?" He shook his head. "No more of that for me. I want you to be able to miss someone worthwhile, Hero."_

_Roxas blinked. "Axel…"_

_"I'm going to be someone that you can really be proud of." Axel said confidently. "I won't let you down."_

_"I…" Roxas was lost for words. He suddenly smiled tenderly, his eyes lighting up. "I know. I believe in you, and I know that you'll do it." _

_Axel turned his head suddenly, and then back to Roxas. "I have to go, Hero, it's time to meet with one of my counselors." He leaned forward to breathe on the glass, and then drew a heart in the steam from his breath. He grinned, winking. "Come again soon, alright?"_

_Roxas nodded, watching as the redhead walked away from him. He smiled, and then the whisper finally escaped him. "I love you…"_

_But Axel was gone._

* * *

Roxas woke with a start, his eyes flying open in the dark of the room. He shuddered slightly, and then closed his eyes to calm down his breathing and heartbeat. He sighed faintly as his heart finally calmed, opening his eyes to look up at the ceiling.

_Another dream of him… He's been gone for nearly 7 months… I wish he would come home…_

The blond pushed himself up, running a hand through his bangs as he stretched out his body. He knew that it would be near impossible for him to get back to sleep tonight; that was usually the way that things went after these sorts of dreams.

He hadn't been dreaming about this long, only since his last visit with Axel. He had been to see the redhead about once a week since he'd been put in the rehab center. His last visit, however, had been almost 3 weeks ago. Ever since his sad attempt to finally tell Axel what he really felt, he hadn't been able to go back.

Roxas rubbed at his face, opening his door and heading out into the living room. It was nearly noon; he'd only been sleeping for about 4 hours. It was going to be a long day…

He turned towards the kitchen, preparing to go get something to eat in an attempt to fully wake himself up, but a voice from the living room stopped him.

"Oh, looks like you're finally up, Hero."

Roxas blinked, and then turned. He met a grinning face, laughing acid green eyes, and a lounging figure across the sofa. He blinked again, and then a brilliant smile spread across his face. "Axel!"

The redhead suddenly found himself with an armful of Roxas, the blond throwing himself into Axel's lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. Axel grinned, returning the embrace by putting his arms around Roxas' waist, putting his nose against the younger's neck.

"I'm so glad you're home!" Roxas said happily against Axel's red spikes. "I have to tell you something!"

Axel blinked as the blond pulled back, meeting happy blue eyes. "What's that, Hero?"

Roxas sucked in a breath, and then grinned. "I love you."

The redhead was stunned. He stared at Roxas in shock for a moment, and then slowly swallowed. After a few moments of quiet a slow smile spread across his face. "I… I love you too."

Roxas smiled, reached up to gently stroke Axel's cheek. The redhead leaned into the touch, closing his eyes at the feel of Roxas' warm skin against his own. The blond took this moment to study Axel, looking at the man that he had found on the streets nearly 9 months ago.

There was such a difference. Roxas was surprised at the changes in Axel, and he was happy with them as well. Axel's face had filled out some, giving him a healthy look. His skin was naturally pale, complimenting his fiery red hair and acid green eyes nicely. His hair was shiny and healthy looking, soft to the touch and beautifully colored. His eyes were even brighter than normal, and the shadows under them had finally left Axel's face.

Roxas smiled softly. "You look so… beautiful."

Axel couldn't stop the blush that spread over his face. "Hero, I… I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything." Roxas said gently, leaning forward slightly. Axel blinked, and then Roxas' lips covered his own.

The redhead flinched at first, his mind going blank. Roxas's lips were soft and warm, gently moving over his own and then down his jaw and neck. Axel couldn't move, couldn't do anything at all as Roxas moved along his skin.

His body, however, went with the natural response; he went completely limp, surrendering to Roxas as he had done with Larxene every time that she had done something very similar to this.

Roxas realized what he was doing in that moment, drawing away from Axel with worry in his blue eyes. "Axel? Axel, come on, snap out of it!"

Axel's eyes were blank as he looked straight at Roxas, and the blond shivered as he realized that Axel was looking _through _him, not at him. He shook the redhead again, fear sneaking into him. "Axel!"

Axel blinked and his eyes cleared, staring up into Roxas' worried eyes. "Hero?"

"I'm so sorry." Roxas said sincerely, starting to climb off of Axel where he was straddling the redhead's lap.

The man shook his head, wrapping his arms around Roxas' hips to stop him from moving. "No, it's okay. I just wasn't ready for it. I'm fine, I promise, you did nothing wrong."

Roxas went still as Axel leaned forward to kiss him, his hands moving to press against the small of Roxas' back, pressing their lower bodies together. The blond moaned faintly, shivering against the taller man as he pressed himself against Axel's chest, allowing the redhead to have total control of what was happening.

Axel inhaled deeply, deciding on what move to make next. He looked into Roxas' eyes, seeing the want and desire buried in the blond's serious blue gaze, and the trust that Roxas held for him. He knew that no matter what he did, Roxas would trust him, and he knew that he would have to conquer this fear that he had.

Roxas wouldn't hurt him. He knew that. He trusted Roxas with his life; the boy had saved him after all, saved him from himself.

The blond smiled as Axel nibbled at his lower lip, his hands hesitantly moving along Roxas' shoulders as he thought on what to do. Roxas gently took Axel's hand, rising to his feet and leading the redhead out of the living room. Axel followed him silently, his green eyes scanning over Roxas' small, lithe frame.

Roxas pulled off his wife-beater as they came into the darkened bedroom, sitting on the bed and settling back against the comforter. Axel frowned as he looked at his little hero, tilting his head.

The blond understood the question in Axel's eyes, smiling again. "You have control, Axel. I am not Larxene, and I never will be. You do what _**you**_ want to do; I won't force you to do anything at all. You are in control."

Axel nodded, a small smile coming to his lips as he leaned down, climbing over Roxas' body, his knees on either side of the blond's slim hips. Roxas stared up at him silently, trust resonating from his blue eyes. Axel lowered his head, pressing his lips to Roxas' as the blond sighed softly, opening his lips to let Axel's tongue in as the redhead began to explore.

Axel's hands were large and warm as he carefully traced the contours of Roxas' body, making the blond shiver and lean into the gentle touches. The redhead allowed his lips to trail after his hands, his touches curious as he moved down Roxas' torso. Roxas responded slowly and carefully, reining himself in to give Axel total dominance.

Roxas arched his back slightly as Axel's fingers dipped beneath the line of his boxers, a breathy gasp escaping his lips as the redhead's warm skin moved over more sensitive skin. Axel smiled at the response, growing bolder as he pushed Roxas' boxers down past his hips and off his slender legs.

The redhead had to pause at this moment, staring in awe at this beautiful creature that was allowing him to touch him, this gorgeous being that was allowing someone as dirty as himself to love him. He placed a hand against Roxas' cheek, smiling when the blond turned his head to press a gentle kiss against Axel's palm.

"You are so gorgeous…" Axel murmured. "Too beautiful for me…"

Roxas shook his head, sitting up to take Axel's face in both hands and press a kiss to his lips. "Never say that. You are the one that I choose."

Axel looked away, his eyes growing dim. "But I'm… I'm nothing like you… I'm ugly…"

Roxas frowned, turning Axel's head so their eyes met again. "And don't you dare say _**that **_in front of me. _**You. Are. Beautiful." **_Axel looked at him silently, and Roxas smiled softly. "I promise. No matter what you went through, no matter what happened to you, you are beautiful in my eyes. And that's all that matters."

With those words the blond carefully reached down, pulling Axel's shirt up and over his head. Axel shivered slightly as the cloth left his body, but he did nothing to stop Roxas' movements. Roxas simply watched him silently, his gentle fingers moving over the scars that covered Axel's pale skin, tracing the marks and the slim muscles that lined his frame.

"Even with this?" Axel whispered painfully. "Even with all this?"

Roxas nodded. "Even with this. You are still amazing to my eyes. You will always be beautiful and wonderful to me. No matter what."

Their lips met again, and Axel pressed forward this time, his larger body pushing Roxas against the mattress. Roxas moaned softly as their naked skin moved against each other, the heat accelerating inside him. He allowed his hands to go lower, his fingers carefully undoing the button of Axel's jeans and pushing them down, taking his boxers with them. Axel shimmied out of them, his heart thundering in both fear and hope.

Their bodies fit against each other perfectly, Roxas' back arching as Axel lay fully against him, his longer body radiating warmth. Axel pressed kisses all over Roxas' face, praising this godly creature that had pulled him back from the brink, away from destroying himself. Roxas raised a leg, hooking it around Axel's hip to push themselves closer than they had been, making Axel shudder and gasp, his hands tightening where they were against Roxas' hips.

Axel paused, not really knowing what to do next. Roxas smiled slightly, taking one of Axel's hands in his own to guide him. "Here." the blond said softly, lovingly. He pulled out a tube of lotion from the bedside table, squeezing some onto Axel's fingers and coating them. Axel blushed faintly as Roxas then led him down, guiding his fingers to where he needed to touch.

Roxas gasped as Axel finally moved farther on his own, tentatively exploring further than Roxas had showed him. His fingers carefully moved into Roxas' body, making the blond wince faintly as Axel used two fingers at once. The redhead instantly flinched back, withdrawing.

Roxas smiled, shaking his head. "It's alright, I'm not hurt. Keep going."

Axel nodded, slowly moving forward again, his fingers questing. Roxas shifted slightly, situating around him with a slightly uncomfortable look on his face. Axel's eyes locked with his, and the redhead swallowed thickly. "How do you… Are you a…?"

The blond nodded. "Yea, I'm a virgin. I just… I wanted to be prepared, cause I knew you probably wouldn't know what to do."

The redhead blinked, and then chuckled. Roxas' face flamed slightly, and he looked away. Axel then pressed a gentle kiss against Roxas' jugular, a smile on his lips. "I love you, Hero."

Roxas smiled brightly at those words, the blush lingering on his cheeks. "I love you too, Axel." He sucked in a breath as Axel's fingers probed deeper, three this time.

Axel shifted faintly as he prepared his new lover, a little nervous for this part of the joining. He withdrew his fingers, squeezing more lotion onto his hand and slowly coating himself with the creamy fluid, rubbing it between his fingers to warm it up a little, his body shivering.

Roxas was breathing rather heavily, his blue eyes clouded and dark with desire, watching the movements of Axel's hands. The redhead slowly moved forward, his hands shaking slightly as he placed them on Roxas' hips. The blond hooked his leg around Axel's hip, staring at him with trust as the redhead carefully positioned them.

Axel paused, shivering slightly. Roxas could see the fear in his eyes and he smiled, a hand smoothing away Axel's sweaty red hair. "I trust you, Axel. I'm not afraid, and you're not hurting me."

The redhead nodded, taking a deep breath and then carefully pressing in. Roxas gasped, throwing his head back and arching as he tried to conceal the hurt that he felt. He knew that if he showed Axel then it would scare the redhead more, and so he tried to keep it from him. Axel paused as soon as he was fully seated, shivering and breathing heavily.

Roxas' breath was stuttered and pained, and Axel looked up with wide eyes, fear in them. He started to pull out, but Roxas shook his head. "No! Just stay there, wait a moment and it'll ease. Give me a moment…"

Axel stilled instantly, watching with scared eyes as Roxas forced himself to relax, his breathing easing slightly as he grew used to the feeling of being stretched and filled. He breathed out as the pain finally eased faintly to a dull ache, his blue eyes opening to look into Axel's gleaming green eyes.

"Alright. Move." Roxas said, his voice soft and tender at the fear in Axel's eyes. "I'm okay, I promise."

The redhead slowly shifted, and Roxas shuddered, his body tensing slightly. Axel gasped at the feeling of being gripped, his body moving again against his own will. Roxas tightened his leg around the taller's hips, causing him to go deeper. Axel moved faster, his body taking over his fear as they moved together, Roxas' throat shuddering around the sounds of pleasure that echoed from his lips. Axel groaned, their sweat-soaked skin moving against each other as he reached the peak, the world exploding around them as they came together.

When Axel's senses finally returned to him he was lying on Roxas' heaving chest, his ear pressed against the boy's thundering heart. He shifted slightly, pulling out of the boy and rolling to lie beside him. Roxas' fingers gently moved through his red locks, a soft smile on his tired face.

"I love you." Roxas whispered gently. "You are amazing."

Axel smiled in response to that, his heart soaring at the words. He finally had a place to belong.

"I love you too."

* * *

_We don't own "Let Love In" by The Goo Goo Dolls_


	12. Hold On Before It's Too Late

_Live like you mean it  
__Love 'til you feel it  
__It's all that we need in our lives  
__So stand on the edge with me  
__Hold back your fear and see  
__Nothing is real 'til it's gone  
__  
Hold on before it's too late  
__Until we leave this behind  
__Don't fall, just be who you are  
__It's all that we need in our lives_

_**Before It's Too Late – Goo Goo Dolls**_

Chapter 12

Hold On Before It's Too Late

Roxas sighed happily, snuggling closer to the warm side that he was leaning against. Axel let a soft smile spread over his features; his arm tightening around Roxas' shoulders as the two of them silently watched TV from their place on the couch. The blond rested his head against Axel's shoulder, his nose just brushing the pale skin of the redhead's throat as he breathed deep of the scent of fire.

Axel's fingers traced lazy patterns over Roxas' shoulder, his cheek coming down to rest on Roxas' blond spikes as his eyes closed slowly, contentedly.

They had been together now for nearly 3 months, and Roxas could never remember being this happy. Every day seemed like an eternity, a forever to spend with this man that he loved. He was content and satisfied to spend each day with Axel, and he knew that he had done the right thing when he had helped Axel get back on his feet.

Roxas knew that Axel had tried hard for him, and he was immensely proud of the fact that the redhead had managed to clean himself up and get free of the drugs, now he was a man that Roxas was proud to love.

The redhead interrupted Roxas' thoughts by shifting slightly. "Hey Hero, do you have any medicine?"

The blond frowned, turning his head to look up at Axel. "How come? Do you have a headache or something?"

Axel nodded, raising his other hand to rub at his forehead. "Yea, a little bit of one. It's nothing to worry about though, no worries. I was just thinking it would be nice to take some meds and try to kill it before it really gets bad; it kind of reminds me of the migraines I was getting back when I first got into rehab."

Roxas nodded at that, pushing himself to his feet and leading the way towards the kitchen. He heard Axel get up after him, following him silently. The blond rifled through their medicine cabinet, smiling when he turned up a small bottle of aspirin. He turned around, the bottle held in his hand, but as he did his heart skipped a beat.

Axel was standing in the entrance to the small kitchen, pale as a ghost. His hand was braced against the doorframe, his knuckles white on the wood as he held himself there. He was shaking; Roxas could easily see that from where he was standing. Terrified, the blond took a step forward. "Axel?"

The acid green eyes met his for only an instant, and then they rolled up into Axel's skull, his body going limp a second later.

Roxas let out a cry, diving forward as the bottle hit the ground with a clatter. Axel hit the floor, crumpling up like a rag doll, his head bouncing off the hard, cold tile of the kitchen. He reached out towards the redhead, but his hands shivered and stopped just before touching him.

_His head… I don't want to jar anything… but… Axel!_

A door slammed open a moment later, Cloud running in looking a little frantic. "Roxas, what's… Oh God!"

Roxas moved back as his brother ran forward to kneel beside Axel's limp form. Cloud carefully ran his hands over Axel's neck, checking for injuries before carefully rolling the redhead over. There was a reddened bump on his forehead, his face relaxed but slightly pained. Cloud swore faintly, pulling one of Axel's eyelids open to check his pupils before carefully hoisting the limp form into his arms.

Roxas followed his brother as he went towards the door, running ahead to open the door before following him out of the apartment and out to his car.

_Please Axel… please be okay!_

_

* * *

_

_"Axel… Axel, wake up!"_

_There was a sharp pain through his skull, and he winced faintly, his eyes squeezing tighter shut. Everything was a blur around him, only faint flashes of what looked like concerned blue eyes coming to him. _

_"See if you can get him to wake up, Roxas."_

_"I'm trying!"_

_No… he didn't want to wake up… the pain would get worse… _

_He felt something shaking him, and he moaned softly, the movement sending stabs of pain through his head. _

_No… stay asleep…stay away from the pain…._

_"Axel… please… please, open your eyes!"_

_There were gentle hands running over his hair, along his face. They were coaxing, gentle and soft as they tried to wake him. But above everything there was pain._

_Pain…._

* * *

White.

And it was really, really bright.

Axel had never been a big fan of white. He squinted, trying to block out the brightness of the room, but eventually his eyes got used to the torture and his eyes opened.

A hospital. But how had he gotten here?

The redhead rolled his head to the right, looking out the window that showed the hallway of the big hospital. He didn't see anyone that he knew right now, but his eyes moved back to the room, still searching. He knew that Roxas would be close by, or someone would be coming soon now that he was awake.

Sure enough, he spotted Cloud outside of the room, walking by the window towards a chair that was situated just beneath his sight on the right side of the window. The tall blond leaned down, and Axel blinked as he saw Roxas' spiky blond head come into view. The teen stood sharply as he saw his brother, and Axel could see the faint red of his eyes.

He'd been crying.

_Why?... What happened?_

Cloud rubbed a hand through his bangs, and then spoke softly. Axel wasn't much of a lip reader, so it was useless trying to understand what the doctor had said. He looked to Roxas instead, and felt his heart stutter.

Roxas' hands were over his mouth, and now tears were gathering in his eyes, though they didn't fall. The blond looked down, and then he slowly sank out of Axel's sight, his knees obviously not holding him up.

_Oh no… what's going on this time? What's wrong with me?_

He kept his eyes trained on the window, watching as Cloud bent down to comfort his younger brother, his face pained. Axel frowned, trying to see them, but failing and falling back to the bed as pain lanced behind his eyes.

He lay on the bed silently for a moment, breathing deeply to try and ease the discomfort he was in, and then the sound of the door opening made him open his eyes slowly. He turned his head to see Roxas closing the door behind himself, his blue eyes shimmering with tears.

Axel watched as the blond sat beside him, reaching out to take the redhead's pale hand. Roxas was silent for a long time, and then he spoke softly. "Axel… Remember those migraines you would get?"

The redhead blinked at this odd start to the conversation, but nodded, tightening his grip on Roxas' hand. The blond breathed in deeply, his grip shaking and tight as he raised Axel's hand to his face, rubbing his cheek along the back of Axel's pale hand. "They… they found out why you were having them."

Axel blinked, and then felt fear blossom somewhere in his chest. "Hero, what's going on?"

"There's…" Roxas swallowed, and the tears started to fall. One single tear fell down his cheek, and then he spoke again. "There's a tumor, wrapped around the front of the base of your brain, up into your brain and also down around your spinal cord."

Axel's eyes widened. "Hero…"

"You have brain cancer, Axel."

Axel's world shattered.

* * *

_We don't own "Before It's Too Late" by The Goo Goo Dolls._


	13. I Wasn't Really Living

_I wonder how I ever made it through a day  
How did I settle for a world in shades of gray  
When you go in circles all the scenery looks the same  
And you don't know how, and I looked into your eyes  
Where the world stretched out in front of me and I realized_

_I never lived before your love  
I never felt before your touch  
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive  
But then again, I wasn't really living  
I never lived before your love_

_**Before Your Love – Kelly Clarkson**_

Chapter 13

I Wasn't Really Living

Roxas lay awake that morning, lying on his side in the bed. His blue eyes were somber and sad, watching the man beside him as he slept.

Axel was thinner and ragged, reminding Roxas rather sharply of when he had still been on meth. This was a product of the medication they had been giving the redhead, as well as the various treatments that they were trying. Cloud was caring for Axel, and he was trying everything that he possibly could to save the redhead, but no matter what they did, he just seemed to get sicker.

He'd been losing weight, and he was tired a lot as well. It was hard for him to keep any meals down, and he was nauseous a lot of the time. Roxas was worrying all the time now, he could do nothing but sit by and watch Axel fade away before his eyes.

Tremors had taken hold in Axel's limbs, his hands trembled periodically, and his legs would give out. It had been getting worse in the last few weeks, but until then there had just been migraines. Memory loss was becoming more frequent as well; Axel had asked him the other day how they had met, because he couldn't remember.

Roxas sighed faintly, reaching down and running a hand over the side of Axel's thin face, his hands trailing through the strands of red scattered across the pale skin. Axel made a soft sound in his sleep, shifting closer and turning his head into the gentle caress.

No matter how much he tried not to think about it, Roxas just kept coming back to the fact that he was going to lose Axel. Even after everything that they had gone through, everything that they had lasted through, he was still going to lose him. Cloud would come home every night with a sober look in his blue eyes, and Roxas would know that there was still no progress. Even though Axel was at home now, he wasn't getting any better.

The blond lay down, scooting closer to Axel's warm body and closing his eyes while breathing deep of the older man's scent. _I don't want to lose this… I don't want to lose __**him…**__ Not after everything we've been through…_

Axel groaned softly, and then Roxas looked up into hazy acid green eyes. Axel blinked slowly, a slightly confused look on his features, and then it cleared as he smiled. "Good morning beautiful."

Roxas couldn't help but smile at that. It had become Axel's morning tradition to wake like that, but now it was getting a little slower in coming. It would take the redhead a moment to fully remember everything; it was like his mind was much slower now.

Roxas leaned forward to kiss the redhead tenderly. "Good morning, love. How are you feeling?"

"Alright." Axel said softly, rubbing at his head. "My head hurts a l-little, but I'm okay."

The blond felt part of his heart deflate at the sound of the stutter. That had been another addition in the last week or so. As the tumor grew and gained more area, it started attacking different parts of Axel's brain. So far the memory loss was minor, but the tumor was also affecting his motor functions and speaking skills. Cloud had mentioned at some point that Axel would probably be unable to speak or move if the tumor continued to grow.

"A-Are you ready for our date t-tonight?" Axel asked, a smile on his face.

Roxas nodded. "Yea, I am. I've been looking forward to it." He stroked Axel's cheek for a moment, absorbing the moment, and then sighed. "Come on, we need to take a shower." he murmured, helping Axel to his feet. The redhead trembled for a moment, and then nodded as his legs supported him fully. They made their way toward the bathroom; Roxas' hand wrapped in Axel's shaking one.

The showering together had started when Axel had started having tremors. He had fallen a few times in the shower, and, afraid that he was going to hit his head or something, Roxas had started showering with him.

Roxas watched silently as Axel undressed carefully, his limbs shaking madly and his knees trembling. Roxas stayed nearby, keeping his hands out in case Axel's knees fell beneath him. The redhead managed to keep on his feet though, and Roxas carefully undressed as Axel started the shower and warmed up the water.

The shower was slow and careful, Roxas' blue eyes keeping a careful watch on his boyfriend while the other washed his hair. Axel sighed, running his fingers through his hair and then opening his acid green eyes to look at his smaller boyfriend. Roxas turned his eyes away as their eyes met, trying not to make Axel feel uncomfortable.

It wasn't until a hand slipped beneath his chin and raised his face that Roxas allowed his eyes to meet Axel's. The redhead smiled softly, running his fingers down the side of Roxas' face. "Don't w-worry about it."

"But Axel…" Roxas murmured. "I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to do everything for you."

"Y-You're only looking o-out for me." Axel responded. "I know that. I'm n-not offended or anything. If t-that's what you're thinking."

Roxas sighed, running a hand through his wet blond hair. "I know. But I just don't want to make you feel like an invalid. Cause you're not."

Axel snorted. "I'm getting there. S-Slowly but surely, I'm getting t-there. Don't worry though; I'm j-just glad that I can be h-here with you." With that the redhead leaned down and gently sealed their lips together.

The blond sighed slightly, raising his arms to wrap them around Axel's neck and press his body against the taller's. Axel smiled, trailing kisses down the younger's slim throat, his hands roaming along the slender, and muscled back. Roxas leaned away before things got more heated, not wanting to tire out the redhead before their date. Axel tired far too easily these days.

"I love you." Roxas murmured, his voice stroking Axel's cheek softly.

The redhead smiling, his green eyes shimmering. "L-Love you, too Hero."

* * *

Well this was certainly a bit of a shock.

Roxas looked around himself, his blue eyes wide as he saw the restaurant that Axel had made reservations at for them. He had had no part in the planning of tonight's date, Axel had done it all on his own, and man was Roxas impressed.

The restaurant was a rather fancy Italian one, done in shades of tan, blue, and yellows. There were candles lit all around, and the room was pleasantly warm and full of the delicious smells of Italian food. There was even a small dance floor on the other side of the room, and the soft sounds of romantic music playing the in air. There were a few couples swaying together on the floor, close together.

Roxas smiled widely, his hand tightening where it was wrapped in Axel's. The redhead's smile mirrored his own, and they sat at their table, Roxas self-consciously looking around, his fingers fidgeting with the fabric of his coat. He felt kind of underdressed even though he was in a nice button up shirt and jacket.

The food was unbelievably good, and Roxas could feel Axel's eyes on him all night. He didn't say anything, some part of him knowing that Axel wanted to soak up every bit of the night that he could, knowing that this could be their last – and first – date together.

"I love you." Axel whispered after a while, his acid green eyes soft as he looked at Roxas. "Words c-can't describe how much." He swore softly to himself at the stutter, focusing on not skipping. "You saved me from myself, gave me a purpose."

Roxas felt his heart ache faintly, and he reached out to put his hand over Axel's on the table. The redhead turned his hand, lacing their fingers together almost desperately. "Axel…"

The redhead smiled slightly. "I'm so glad to have known you. To have been given the chance to have such a hero in my life, especially when I didn't deserve it. You were an angel in my time of d-darkness."

His voice slipped on the last word, and Roxas watched as sadness flickered across the other's eyes. The blond smiled, pushing himself to his feet. "Come, dance with me, Axel."

Axel returned the smaller's smile, climbing shakily to his feet and following his small hero to the dance floor in the corner of the restaurant. The soft notes of the song flowed through the air, and Axel felt a jolt in his heart at the words playing.

Roxas smiled, laying his head against Axel's heartbeat, closing his blue eyes and humming softly with the song. Axel lowered his head, resting his chin against Roxas's blond hair, his arms tightening around the small waist, his limbs shaking faintly.

_I never lived before…_

_Your love…_

* * *

Roxas lay awake long into the night, as was the norm. He could still feel the lingering heat of Axel inside him; still feel the passion that remained from their love-making. He was settled on his elbow, watching Axel sleep against him, their bare skin pressed against each other.

He carefully ran his fingers over the prominent bone of Axel's cheek, his heart thudding in his chest. Axel made a soft sound in his sleep, shifting closer and breathing out a warm sigh. Roxas shuddered as the ache inside his chest intensified, leaning to press his lips to Axel's forehead, resting there, not willing to leave.

_I love you Axel… I love you so much… _

* * *

Roxas was awoken by a soft sound of distress beside him. He came awake almost instantly, his blue eyes searching out his bedmate and lover. "Axel…?.!"

Acid green eyes met his, and then the redhead swallowed thickly through the tears that were soaking his cheeks.

The blond's heart swelled with worry, his hands cupping Axel's cheeks gently. "Axel, love, what's wrong? Are you in pain? What hurts?"

Axel shook his head, shivering. "I'm n-not… n-not in p-pain." Roxas blinked in shock; the stutter was worse.

Roxas ran a hand along Axel's forehead and down his cheek, searching faintly for any sign of a fever or anything else. "What's wrong?"

"I… I c-can't feel my l-legs."

* * *

_We don't own "Before Your Love" by Kelly Clarkson._


	14. One More Day With You

Ah, last chapter. And yes, we went through all that angst just to kill him. We're weird like that. Hope you guys enjoyed it!

* * *

_First thing I'd do is pray for time to crawl  
I'd unplug the telephone and keep the TV off  
I'd hold you every second  
Say a million 'I Love You's'  
That's what I'd do with one more day with you_

One more day, one more time  
One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied  
But then again I know what it would do  
Leave me wishing still for one more day with you

_**One More Day – Diamond Rio**_

Chapter 14

One More Day With You

The hospital room was dark and cold to Roxas as he sat in the chair beside the white bed, but he paid it no mind. He would sit here forever, if it meant just one more day with the man that he loved.

Axel was slipping. Slipping faster that Roxas could follow, and there was nothing that the doctors could do anymore.

The loss of feeling in his legs had led to more, and now the redhead could no longer move, his mind completely unable to translate and send the signals to his body. His voice had vanished just the day after their date, and things were turning into a landslide that was taking Axel's failing life along with it.

Roxas had never imagined that it would all go so fast.

The doctors estimated that Axel would probably not live through this night. He was already hooked up to a breathing machine, as well as life support. He wasn't even breathing on his own anymore, and without the help of the machines, he would die.

A soft hand on his shoulder made Roxas look up, and his blue eyes met the same ones of his elder brother, Cloud's face soft and pained. "Roxas… I'm sorry."

The younger blond shook his head. "No. It's not your fault Cloud. I just… I wish that we could have met sooner."

There was a silence that was only broken by the soft sound of the heart monitor beeping, and then Cloud spoke, his voice soft. "I think… I think that you were meant to meet when you did, Roxas. You helped Axel find himself, and somehow that was all that he needed. To find forgiveness before he…"

The tall man didn't say the word, feeling Roxas flinch as he came to that. The teen sighed, shaking his head as tears welled up in his blue eyes. "I know. That's what I keep telling myself… But…"

Cloud knelt down, wrapping a secure arm around Roxas's shoulders and allowing his brother to lean against him, burying his face in the taller's shoulder. "I know, little one. It doesn't make it any easier…"

The moment lasted until Cloud's pager went off, summoning the blond to another room. He squeezed Roxas tightly before releasing him. "I'll be back later, okay little one? Will you be alright?"

Roxas nodded. "Yea."

As the door clicked shut behind his brother, Roxas turned back to Axel, his hands enclosing Axel's cold fingers. There was no response to his touch, just as there hadn't been in the last week since Axel had lost all mobility. The blond gently petted Axel's skin, his breath shuddering in his chest.

"I love you, Axel…"

* * *

Roxas was shaken awake a little while later by his brother, Cloud's blue eyes solemn and deep as he looked at the younger. "Roxas…"

The blond rubbed at his eyes, reflexively looking towards Axel as he did. There was no change; the redhead was still on the sheets. Roxas turned to look up at his brother, blinking in confusion.

"Roxas…" Cloud murmured, his voice soft and pained as he knelt down beside his brother. "I think… I think that it's time to say goodbye."

Roxas's eyes widened, tears flooding them even though he had been sure that he had no tears left to cry. "No… Cloud…"

Cloud shook his head, his hand gentle as it ran over Roxas's soft hair. "I'm sorry, little one, but there's nothing we can do for him. Axel would live out the rest of his days here, on the life support until the tumor consumed his mind completely. It's time to let him go."

"I…" Roxas choked, his hand searching for Axel's limp one. "I don't…"

"I know…" Cloud whispered, cradling Roxas's head against his neck. "I know you don't want to say goodbye, but it's time for him to go. He'll go pain-free and easy, just like falling asleep. All of his pain will be gone."

Roxas pulled in a shaky breath, his mind still protesting the idea, though his heart knew that Cloud spoke the truth. He nodded faintly. "You're right… I can't… I can't stand to see him like this… He would… He would want this."

Cloud wiped at his brother's tears, pushing himself to his feet and moving away. Roxas thanked him silently, standing and moving forward to say goodbye for the last time to the man that he loved with everything he was.

"Axel…" he whispered, his blue eyes looking into half-lidded acid green eyes. He barely saw a flicker in those orbs, a hint of recognition, though there was nothing else to indicate that Axel had heard him. "I love you Axel…" Roxas whispered, stroking the red hair, his fingers trailing over Axel's thin face. "I'll never forget what we had together, no matter how short it was." He smiled softly. "And I'll live every day for you."

He pressed a kiss to Axel's cool skin. "I love you… I love you…" Roxas rested their foreheads together, his tears dripping onto Axel's cheeks. "I just wish that we could have had at least one more day…"

The blond shifted backwards, stepping back and nodding to his brother. "O-Okay."

Cloud moved forward as Roxas sat beside Axel, his hand still wrapped in the redhead's limp fingers. As Cloud started to turn off the machines Roxas felt his heart lodge in his throat, but he pushed it down, a smile on his face.

As the last machine stopped and Axel's chest grew still, Roxas waited for the long beep that would mean Axel was gone forever. But to his shock and surprise, the limp hand around his moved, squeezing gently, and Axel's eyes met his.

"Roxas… love you…"

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…._

Tears cascaded down Roxas's cheeks, his hands over his mouth as he stared in shock at Axel's closed eyes and relaxed, smiling face. Cloud was staring in shock at the redheaded man, his own eyes wide.

"He wasn't… He couldn't move or speak. How…?"

A smile broke out over Roxas's face even through his tears, his blue eyes shimmering. "Axel… he called me Roxas. He said my name…"

That was the first time that Axel had ever called Roxas anything except for Hero.


End file.
